Gonna Live it That Way

It's extremely weird. I noticed about this peculiar being as well. It has been like; months if I'm not mistaken. Might caused by the increase in age. Or may be due to hormone imbalance. Or mood swing. Yeah, blame them all!

I get easily offended these days. Even over some little & ridiculous reason(s), the sensitive side of me emerged out of a sudden. Lucky me for up to this moment, I managed to hide the side from revealing itself to the public. Whenever I feel offended, nothing could make me feel at ease. Hence I chose to treat my so-called wounded heart; all by myself. Without letting people close to me know about it. I always know I will be ok after taking some time off for myself. Because in time as such, all I ever wish for is some space & time. Solely dedicated for me to heal. 

Call me drama, call me melancholy, call me over sensitive; I am numb to those for I don't pay attention to any words uttered. In fact, I don't care any longer. I've tried my best but I guess I don't try harder. And I gave up too easily. I don't care...and I don't feel like I want to try any further. I had enough taking care of those insensitive souls. I had enough making sure they remain intact almost all the time...whilst mine; has been left abandoned for too long. I ain't blaming anyone because I know it's me who shall be blamed. I let people's thought(s) penetrate my mind, influence & in the end; took control to what I think what I want what I should do. 

Alhamdulillah. Albeit being worry with the way I see & feel things lately...I thanked Allah for leading me  to walk upon the right path. At least, I have come to my senses. Eventually. From now on, I will withdraw myself from any discussion(s) that I don't feel right or see the needs for me to speak up. And I hope my mind won't get messed up thinking about what others might think or say about me. I will only voice out my opinions & views when needed. And when I feel like not wanting to speak or talk, I will remain silent & I hope people around me get the message I tried to convey. 

I am letting bygones be the way they should be. Leave them behind; and never to be judged nor talked. There is absolutely nothing to say about them thus they are called the past. We are just human being after all. Humans have flaws...and weaknesses. And they are unique from each other. If I don't favour the presence of certain someone in my life...I'll just move to another page. Or cherish their presence until absence takes place. 

Life is short...I'll make it sweet for me. And to family & friends as well; as long as they permit me to do so.

eryantierdabdulkarim