Yesterday was one heaven of a day *Note: I refuse to use the word hell*.

Here; I officially declared aku adalah bangang tahap saiko gaban. Ermm don't get too excited though for the declaration lasted till midnight only. I am back to the normal track already.

What happened? Nothing actually, only that I see myself as the super tongol lass yesterday. It was those things I did.

First; incident in the office. Aku ni dalam mode rajin, alkisahnya lah. Swept & mopped the floor. While waiting for the wet floor to dry, the brilliant moi did an unsangkarable action. Bolehnya aku dengan selamba, threw the rubbish in the bin back on the floor. Brilliant wasn't it. Yes, I heard u. Thanks.

Second; happened at home sweet home. I was craving for coke. And there's a half glass left in the fridge. I took it out, put the glass on the table next to the sink...and off to the washroom. Skali keluar tu aku ternampak few dirty plates in the sink. Mulia hati kunun aku mau mencuci...sekali dengan gelas berisi coke tu aku buang. Damn...there went MY craving, inside the sinkhole.

While pouring the coke...I was aware that its my drink but the brain seemed to lost its way transmitting the signal command for the hand to stop. Pernah bah kan korang jadi bingai macam tu? Almost similar to my banana case.Isi pisang aku buang while the skin aku sumbat dalam mulut.

There are times; aku selalu spit out thing I didn't intend to say. Like; tengah taip sms & someone asked me something. Boleh jak tu aku jawab benda yang sedang aku taip. Lagi haru, a friend mms aku gambar sampah busuk. I was at a wedding with mother. And mother's friend came to say Hi to us. I wanted to say Hi & puji lah baju dia lawa...instead; I said "Hi...punya busuk sampah ko". Nasiblah aku ndak makan penampar dan² tu bah. Ohh YES, aku adalah sempat bagi explanation & said the right thing afterward. Ngeh~~

Suddenly juga ingat case paling haru & memalukan in my whole life. Incident chocolate spread. Ugh...harus rasa mau kasi tapuk diri dalam karung. Kenapakah ada saat aku jadi sebingai itu. But I guess, benda macam tu jadi untuk remind kita yang human makes mistake. ALL THE TIME.

It's great having to experience things like that, boleh kasi ketawa diri sendiri whilst at the same time learned something from it. Regardless how simple the thing is; there must be at least a tiny bit of a lesson we could learn from it.

Perhaps; level of caffeine in the system has mounted. I've just finished MY 3rd glass of coffee as I scribble this. Kepeningan melampau...migraine macam mencucuk ubun kelapa...no wonder I do things yang qualified masuk fasa bingai. Padan muka kau cik Err.

I wasn't in a good condition yesterday...in term of health is what I mean. Ngeh~~ I feel less coordinated these days...I don't know why. I've fully recharged myself during the weekend...but period pain & food poisoning took it all away in just 1 snap; last Mon.

The other day I told the not-so-big sister; Laura that I am mentally physically exhausted. And I was directed to rest my 'case' down. Rest la sangat...padahal otak still in active mode processing unnecessary thoughts. Mari belai hentak kepala Cik Err beramai².

Life at work is pretty santai right now...less catering order, less students coming to the cafe. Alkisah; semester break sudah start. Bolehlah bersenang lenang jap before busyness embrace me again when the semester reopen in July.

Alangkah, rezeki alhamdulillah murah. We've received few catering orders for this coming semester. Pengsan lah juga aku nanti mengcoordinate...menginvois...memungut payment. Biarlahkan...at least I have a job. I have things to do. Frankly speaking, life has become more formed ever since I shouldered this responsibility. Gila kau kalau diri sendiri in mess...how am I going to handle semua. From ordering bahan mentah, bahan kering, atur jadual kerja & whatnot.

Dari kerja duduk dalam bilik aircond bertahun²...tapi ndak pernah la buat kerja dengan betul. Aku pun pelik kenapa ada orang bangga kerja yang ada OFFICE; but I guess deep in their heart know yang tiada satu pun kerja yang dorang boleh buat dengan baik. Am not saying, aku expert giler in what I'm doing right now. Still ada cacat cela here & there but at least I know...campak aku kerja macam ni, I can still survive. Ada orang bangga kerja dia itu ini, gaji riban² tapi bila tanya benda paling basic untuk orang kerja pejabat...jawapan jauh tersasar. Buat apa bangga & cakap buruk pasal kerja orang lain when u know; u urself are far than good in ur job. Setakat pergi balik kerja macam orang kerja pejabat yang lain....tapi mau punch kertas untuk buat filing pun huru hara; baguslah join sang kera di hutan tu.

I used to work in an office...an 8-to-5 job. In the end I resigned because I couldn't stand the environment. I was weak & I got too carried away with the politic in the office. I got myself a hypertension as a daily gift. I tortured my mind. Yet I don't blame anyone BUT myself. Seriously, kita ada akal ada otak ada hati perasaan.

Why not use up semua yang diberiNya sebaik mungkin. I could choose the word 'ignore' or 'let them be' or 'mind my own business'...instead; I chose 'moody'; 'madness'; 'foolishness'. No one is to be blame because ketara lah kan aku yang ndak pandai program sistem diri sendiri.

In situation as such; aku bersyukur sebab dapat circle of friends yang simply understanding. Yang jenis kalau aku marah or jiwa kacau or bertukar jadi monster....they will stick by my side. And akan usaha sebaik mungkin to pull my feet back to the ground. Load the system with sanity. Nasib yang golongan batu api a.k.a firestone sudah awal² aku eliminate. U know the one yang datang rumah lepak malam²....korek itu ini alkisah konon datang untuk share problemos...and the next thing u know benda yang suppose to be strictly known among close friends only; is leak out to the world. The kind of so called friends that will turn to u when they're desperate looking for help. Also the type yang suka ayat 'melagakan'.

Regret is not exactly the right word when it comes to finding out the true color about such friends. I cherished the memories...semua yang pernah aku tolong, memang jujur aku buat dari hati seorang kawan. But untuk continue something the brain refuse to process anymore...aku ndak sanggup sudah. Ndak mau jadi plastic...sebab sah² Dia jadikan kita dari tanah.

And this time...I think I've made a pretty smart decision choosing the word 'ditch'.

Dinner with mother at Sugar Bun...I had dessert instead of taking the main course. Wasn't in the mood for a heavy meal so I only ordered choc brownie & caramel ice blended.

Since I just swallowed a slice of choc brownie...I shall prepare for a migraine attack. Just found out the system couldn't tolerate with choc these days. Perhaps too much consumption in the past...and now its paying toll on me. Nasiblah sempat bermuntahan kelebihan makan choc dolu kala. The ex bfs also the kakak/adik/abang angkat rajin sedekah choc.

I'm not sure what's going on with my digestion system these days. Whatever I ate...akan keluar right after. Something got to do with the hormone I guess. Imbalance & fluctuated. I hate being in this state...harus lepas ni semua makanan pun aku kurang selera tinguk. Hence I will eat less...and Miss Gastric akan ada excuse to pay me a visit.

Ugh...some of the pekerja pun sudah buat quite a review on me. They said I look a bit pale since Monday. Less energetic...boleh² dorang cakap senyum aku pun kureng seri sudah. Adeiii gimana ini dong.

Perhaps, I unintentionally left my soul in Kundasang. Well, at least that explain the lethargic moi. NO?

Lately...I found myself humming this song quite frequent. Wasn't sure why until I 'studied' the lyric this morning.

Honey; I'm in love with u. Period.

**************************************

Ku pernah punya cinta namun kini ku sedang suka kamu
Cintaku dulu tlah kubuang jauh kini ku ingin kamu

Ku pernah menyendiri di sini ku akan terasa sepi
Walaupun bibir penuh gelak tawa namun hatiku sepi

Jangan bilang tidak bila kita belum mencoba
Siapa yang tahu akan sama hatimu dan juga hatiku
Banyak yang bercinta bertahun-tahun putus juga
Kuharapkan dengan dirimu walaupun singkat pendekatan
Cinta kita kan abadi

Ku pernah punya cinta namun kini ku sedang suka kamu
Cintaku dulu tlah kubuang jauh kini ku ingin kamu

Jangan bilang tidak bila kita belum mencoba
Siapa yang tahu akan sama hatimu dan juga hatiku
Banyak yang bercinta bertahun-tahun putus juga
Kuharapkan dengan dirimu walaupun singkat pendekatan

Jangan bilang tidak waktu dicium aku bingung
Namun dada ini bergetar
Makanya sungguh aku mohon
Jangan bilang tidak

**************************************

Labour Day Escapade with My Ladies

Ngeh...I deserted this blog for 2 upbeat days. Was in Kundasang during that time; hence the silent.

What else could I say about the short yet memorable trip of me + my ladies + Poser. We had sooo much fun laughing & clicking.

I love love love the scenery. Ambik kau brapa kali love aku kasi. I miss the fresh windy air already. Feel like not wanting to go back. Punya malas tahap gaban mau kerja ni hari.

At Kundasang War Memorial. 

Us buang tabiat at Desa Dairy Farm.

Period pain made my Monday even worst. And to make thing even 'sweeter'...suddenly cafe macam kena ambush this afternoon. Berduyun students. Alkisah lagi, few of the staffs didn't show up today. Therefore, it was a bit chaos at few of the lots. Short of manpower kunun. Berbekal balance energy sedia ada; aku adalah berhempas pulas memerah peluh. Though I know; the sweat I produced just now was the unhealthy one.

I felt cold...I shivered. That's why I said its not healthy. Bah sudah ketara kan berpenyakitan dari awal pagi...haruslah peluh tu bukan hasil pembakaran lemak dalam sistem.

Anyways, I went out for a movie date with Mel, Grunge + Rio last Saturday evening. Had the date at GSC, 1B. It's Iron Man 2's evening for us. We had light dinner before the show. Ok review aku pasal movie? It was great...although ada gangguan suara budak nangis during the show. I like most of their dialogs...sarcastic yet funny. Maybe sebab seat kami paling atas & tepi...jadi aku rasa only Mel + I syok sendiri ketawa. Seriously, dialog diorang lucu ok. Menikam jantung tu ayat² tapi memang bikin ketawa. Robert D. Jr memang best...but I still prefer Robert in Sherlock Holmes. Sorry; itu cuma pandangan personal gue ya.

Ugh...back from work tadi singgah beli groceries di CKS. Reached home nearly 630pm. Traffic wasn't bad though. Ngamlah untuk balance kehuru haraan minda dari pagi. I hit the sack right after shower. Mata berat gajah...tidur adalah lena. Woke up at 10pm...kelaparan. Diet ngok ngek nama dia aku ni. Managed to do the laundry...fold the clothes...helped Laura with her online apps...and now aku berhempas pulas mengedit cum mengupload pics taken during the trip last weekend.

I had quite a date with DNS error at the office this morning...thought I was the only one. Sekali c Nurul asked the same Q I was meaning to ask; in her mukabuku status. I really thought there's something wrong with my broadbandung connection rupanya memang ada error. Jadi, ndak kepayahan merisau.

Nampak gaya macam tidur lambat jak ni tau...mata sudah segar bugar. Adui...panda eyes lagilah bisuk pigi kerja ni.