Semangat terbang jauh melayang di awal pagi. Mujur sempat aku kejar. Also picking up the pieces yang bertaburan atas lantai. Praise be to Allah the Almighty for the strength. And for keeping me sane.

Syukur dapat divert kesusah hatian to something cheerful. Trip to Kundasang tomorrow with my ladies. Yay...insya Allah akan selamat pergi & balik. Memel told me the other day, no matter what the H is we're gonna have a blast Labor Day up there. One that yet to be engrave in our memory. At least, I'm still alive.

Dia lebih tahu apa yang terbaik untuk hamba² Nya. Kalau sudah sandarkan harapan sama Dia, then what's with the devastation & sadness when He gave me something else. Aku adalah manusia biasa...it's normal to feel the pain & be upset. But will not let the gloominess stay long though...half sudah berjaya diusir keluar. Syukran.

Gracias to my beloved friends for the shoulders & support. Pinjam semangat kamurang kijap ah. And movie date this evening will definitely be one of the drive to swift my frustration mode. Iron Man 2; u better make my RM9 tix worthful.

HAPPY 29^th *minus 1 year* BIRTHDAY TO THE MOST CREATIVE FRIEND OF MINE...

MOHD SHAHRIZAL OSMAN a.k.a IJAL SABAH

aku doa hanya yang terbaik untukmu sahabat. Dunia & akhirat.

********************************************************

Alkisah...I chose to puasa sunat today. Thursday kan. Sekaligus membayar nazar puasa tu hari. Takut kalau menangguh lagi...time is not mine to control. Mati bila²...takut di 'sana' nanti aku ditagih janji yang aku sudah buat sama Allah.

And I don't know why...time fasting nilah banyak betul dugaan. All of a sudden, I crave for ice cream. Sudahlah minta puji ndak mau ice cream cone yang murah. This time, VedaBlu dalam kepala. Macam menari² tu signage depan mata ah. Ishhh...

Break fast cum dinner nanti di Jesselton Point with MY ladies; Grunge & Mel. And the one & only Poser member; Rio. Mengidam lamb chop lagi ni sudah. Damn...temptation I chose not to resist. Gah!

Eee I totally forgot about this...the other day I went to a movie date with mother. We watched The Crazies. Lupa mau buat review pasal tu movie. And also lupa to blog about it.

Movie was superb...seriously! It scared the shit out of me...cheh ayat yang ndak boleh blah. That flick buat dada sakit. Nafas sesak.

Amazingly, dari cerita pasal takanon suddenly that movie crossed my mind. Reason untuk blog adalah mau review balik nanti apa jadi sama life aku. Because nowadays too many things happened to me...some I can't recall. Hence I opted to put them in words...in case aku hilang ingatan ka apa ka. *knock on wood*

Mother's not around...so the 2 siblings buat rumah ala wrecked ship. NOT. Brother spent the whole night watching the football matches. Note the plural. And wrapped his night with the tele watching him slept.

While moi, being the ever reliable daughter & sister *clapping hands* did the housechores. Lucky I didn't have to make dinner because brother had his dinner outside early that evening. I did the laundry, vac-ed the house, wiped the dust bla bla bla. Didn't sweat much though so I guess only a few kilos were burnt.

After spring cleaning, I sat in front of the lappy. Browsing the net. Also editing pictures taken during dinner with the old friends. My oh my...uploading pic in fb takes eons these days. Kesabaran di situ.

I hit the sack around 1am this morning. The children; Cheeloh, Cafe & Corridor gave up on me when I ignored their ramblings. My children are the smartest...mau tidur pun hint lagi ah. Non stop meowing...but when I stay put with my things, they will stop. And resume 'singing' when they heard me got up from my seat & headed to the bedroom. Harus semua tu berebutan masuk bilik ah.

Talking about them won't bore me...ever. There are times when I feel like not wanting to meet & talk to people...and chose the children to be my only companions. Pouring my problems to them somehow soothe the mind, made me more relax. Its like the string that tied me was released instantly. I just can't get enough talking about them. Bahana benci dorang dulu...karma eats me eventually. Now; I choose them before the boyfriend.

Chenta hati; pretend u didn't see this ok. I love u still but I love the children more. Ngeh~~~

Alkisah...ndak sempat mau share cerita awal pagi. Duhh; pentingkah cerita awal pagi aku ah. It matters kot. Terima jaklah; nama pun blog aku punya kan. Owner adalah berhak tulis apa jak.

Sent mother to KKIA before heading to workplace this morning. She'll be in Genting until Friday; work purpose. And will only be back home this Sunday. The remaining 2 days, weekend in Kolumpur harus. Perlukah ah mau conference pun sana Genting. Grr please know, I've just activated the envy mode. I was late to work though...say like; an hour. I dislike people who enjoyed taking advantage on other. And I don't feel like talking about that non-living things & their superbly brilliant brains already. It's too sickening for review purpose; trust me.

On another note, I went for a meeting organized by the uni's Housing Department. It's regarding rules & regulations; pricing; food quality & whatnot. Attendees were the student representatives, cafeterias' representatives & the admin people.

Firstly, like any normal meeting mestilah ucap tahniah from the chairman. Then, we proceeded to rules & regulations. An Ass. Profesor from the School of Food Science briefed us on few of the do-s & don't-s. 3rd agenda was on quality. Pastu aku hanyut dengan kemengantukan tahap gaban.

Just when I was about to sail into MY own dreamland...the 'suara hati ma**siswa' session took place. The session ke udara right on time. I was waiting for this session from the start. Jadinya, meluah lah perasaan wakil² tadi. And aku adalah sikit lagi terburai isi perut upon hearing all the complains & nonsensicalities.

Ok, let me put some of the so called complains in words.

P1: Kenapa harga sup + daging + ayam + mee = RM3. While sup sayur RM1, bila kami tambah ayam ia jadi RM3. Mahal. Tidak logik.
Chairman: Oooo...berapa lah harga makanan di Alamesra or 1B?
YoursTruly: Sup + daging or ayam + mee = RM3. If daging + ayam it will be RM4.

P2: Ayam kami dapat tu kadang tulang.
Chairman: Kali nasib ko ndak baik bah tu time kan.
Me: LOL LOL LOL

P3: Harga teh RM1. Tapi barang buat tu semua bukan mahal. Kenapa tidak jual RM0.80.
Chairman: Hmmm...kalau mau murah gitu, beli 3in1 lah saya rasa senang.
YoursTruly: Wah breakdown gitu. How about gaji pekerja & other utilities bills? Yes, ikut cakap Dr. Chairman itu...beli & buat sendiri baru ngam.

P4: Tolong pantau kualiti makanan...kadang sedap kadang tidak.
Chairman: Itu bukan kualiti, itu ialah selera.
Me: Why not maggi-ing urself like I did back in uni.

P5: Nasi goreng yang dijual masin.
Chairman: Berapa kali kamu makan?
P5: Erm...sekali.
Chairman: Hmm memang nasib malang kamu masa itu. Benda tu memang akan berlaku sekali sekala, tapi tidak tiap masa jadi itu bukan masalah besar.
YoursTruly: Bagus suruh tukang masak jangan taruk garam, siap masak ko taruk garam ikut rasa ko. Cool is it.

P6: Sayur pahit yang dimasak tu pahit...seolah tidak dibasuh dengan bersih.
Chairman: Bila masa sayur pahit jadi manis.
YoursTruly: Bagus lagi aku yang ndak berapa tahu spesis sayur...tau juga sayur pahit tu pahit. Like duhh...hence the name ok.

P7: Makanan di cafe tu tidak sedap. Student lebih suka makan maggi dari beli di cafe.
Chairman: Sebab diorang tu malas mau turun ke cafe. Or kamu ni rindu masakan rumah, tulah cakap tidak sedap.
YoursTruly: Sounds like moi...was too lazy to put my tudung on. But I never lodge any complain regarding makanan not good therefore I opted for maggi instead. So not the logic ok.

phew...there were few more that I remember but I guess the points above are enough to explain how smart they are.

I mean, come on students. Aren't there any relevant issues to bring up rather than those rubbish. U wanna talk about price breakdown; sila ambil kursus basic business. Sedap or tidak...memang benda tu wujud. Hence why the word tidak sedap was invented. If u don't favor the taste even after complaining...then sila lah cari tempat makan lain. No one forcing u to dine at 1 specific cafe only.

'Kids' these days. Need I say more? sigh sigh sigh but why I wasn't surprise anymore?

Surrounded by great things

Phew...so MY chenta hati finally succeeded in throwing a pretty extreme 'attack' last night. Thanks mucho for the surprise; busuk honey. Can I kick belai ur not so big bontot like; now? Nasib aku sayang kau...kalau ndak, ada aku buat rempah sup soto nanti.

Anywoot, last night I went out meeting some old friends back in UiTM. As stated in my previous entry. We lepak-ed at Tanjung Aru Seafood Restaurant. Windbell was fully booked last night; nasib last minute venue ni kira berbaloi. Spacious; suitable for the kids untuk berlarian. NO, kids aren't mine. Tu hak milik PnYang, PnDana & EnHamka. Foods were great. Friendly staffs. It's an open space restaurant; hence ventilation harus best. Udara laut tu kali buat aku kesukaan.

I haven't seen Dana for like 6 years. Bumped into her once at 1B while she's still pregnant with Fatin. But tu ndak kira sebab we only say hi-laga pipi-bye. All happened in less than 10mins. Hamka & Olmey; last time met them was during Azaha & fiance's short trip to KK last Ramadhan. While Yang; when I went down to Kolumpur sometime last year. That was during Adam's kenduri cukur jambul. Time flies fast these days...dulu jumpa Adam still baby. And now, he's such a big boy already. Sudah boleh tawaf kawasan restoran. Harus ndak sudah mau didukung...lesen berjalan sudah approved kan. Hamka brought his 5 year old daughter...adalah terkejut anak dia besar gitu because he never bring any of his family member kalau ada gathering. So I guess last nite was an exception...his wife pun sedang pregnant 2^nd child; sure ndak larat jaga kali. Olmey bawa diri sendiri & so did I.

What else should I say when old friends met? Harus ok update ndak hengat...yang bini² + 1 bride-to-be bercerita kisah diorg while the guys macam biasa ndak kan lari dari topik bola. We stayed there until 11 pm. Kan ada anak kecil sudah, jadi masa untuk melepak harus dikasi pindik. *wink*

~Kami yang hadir. Fatin & Syafiqah with their fathers & Adam kidnapped by his Sis BibiErr~

Can't wait for this weekend though...hopefully Mel is getting better by Friday. She better be. Siap tu kalau masih sakit. Grrr apakah motif mau marah orang sakit ahh.

Monday started great for me. No blues mode in the air. But towards evening, peacefulness was grabbed away by some moron guy.

Ugh I can't imagine a guy being so heartless. Period. I don't feel like sharing the stupidity he had done; I hope u understand my feeling when I said I was totally pissed off up to the point I screamed at him.

Well, upon being informed by 1 of my staff; I took some time to calm myself down. I even had this Q&A session between the logic side of MY brain & the melodramatic side of my feeling. Topic being; should I or should I not just say what's the heart tells me to. Being overly emotional won't do any good to me because showing what I feel towards brainless dumbass guy like him; will only make me look stupid.

After taking my own sweet time...I confronted the guy a.k.a 1 of my staff at the cafe. Asked him few relevant Qs before I decided to raise my voice to a few notes higher than the original pitch. I said something in 1 breathe before turning my back & walked away.

"Lain kali guna otak kalau mau buat apa². Tu binatang bukan manusia yang ada akal. Lain kalau ko pun macam dorang. Kucing binatang kesayangan Nabi; ingat kalau Allah turunkan bala bukan ko jak yang kena. Pakai la akal yang dibagi, baru orang tau ko manusia." *index finger constantly pointing the side of the head*

Sarcasm wasn't the idea though I might sound a bit like. Perhaps I chose to not practice the idea anymore. Spitting out whatever u feel like while anger is in the midst of ruling the mind...will only make u look ugly. And the ugliness last for lifetime. Trust me...regret is the last thing u wanna meet in the future. Say whatever u feel like when u're angry & the speech u made will haunt u for rest of ur life. Scary!!

Even though I managed to hold my tongue from cursing or swearing...I did feel like slapping my face for screaming. Harus atas kewarasan yang ada suara adalah dikontrol untuk jaga pride. Geram gila!

Luckily it's nearly 5pm at that time hence no brainwash session takes place. Need to get rid of the traffic congestion...gue perlu beredar pulang sepantas mungkin dong. Membawa sekali rasa geram.

As for today...I'll be having dinner with MY old friends back in UiTM. CikYang is here with the husband & lil Adam. Its been a year since I last printed my trademark on him. Yay...will be meeting Dana's lil bundle of joy as well. Harus suka sebab akan ada ramai kanak². Also berjumpa kawan lama.

Yesterday ended up perfect. The kind of weekend that I love spending time on.

I had brunch date with mother at La Manila cafe, Warisan Sq. Was on the mood for some Indian cuisine early in the morning. Always Krishna is my 1st choice but it was closed. Off to Jothi's at Api2 but they haven't start operating yet as the whole area was on blackout.

Hence the downed & frustrated moi dragged the mother to Warisan instead. See, simple stuff such as place to dine pun aku boleh kasi complex. Well, I didn't say 'I rarify' for nothing right.

Anyhow, we went to CP after meal. Mother had some retail therapy session for herself...while me; melihat dengan lelehan liur. I didn't write down shopping on yesterday's to-do list. Need to be firm with what I've wrote & decide...otherwise Bali would be a nightmare trip. I gotta start saving NOW before its too late.

Mother bought perfumes & a casing for her phone. Poor her...she's been DQ-ing about the perfume but I purposely pay no mind nor listen to her gripes. Yes I am that cruel just because I've got something more other than fragrance for her coming birthday. Disekalikan sama Mothers Day lah juga...harus untuk jimat kos. Sekian.

I know she's been eyeing on the new arrival CR handbag. Eversince I showed it to her, she has never stop curi2 looking at it everytime we passed by the shop at Warisan. And she'll go like; "Nah tu bag cantik. Ur bag. Bibie beli, nnt boleh buat sesi pinjam meminjam" Insya Allah mother, I'll get it for u. Just wait a lil bit more ok. 3 weeks to be exact. Jangan jak jadi stingy when I feel like borrowing nanti.

We went back home nearly 2pm. I took a short nap after Zhuhur prayer. Ran some errands & by Maghrib all were done.

And as promised, spa session with mother. Alkisah, spa suka suki yang dilakukan di rumah mahligai kami jak pun. Body scrubbing & face masking. Best wor kena urut. Feel like all the stress was being channeled out from the system. Leaving a brand new fresh skin. Minus the old brand skin color of course. *giggles*

Rejuvenation is the perfect word for the spa session. Perhaps we should do that more often, apart from being able to saving extra cash it will definitely be 1 of the many things to do with mother. Rather than doing the same things most of the time. Not that I don't enjoy retail therapy nor I hate dining out with her...but wouldn't it be great if there are other options to choose.

Ok before I end this post...I would like to announce something related to my last 2 entries. *drum rolls* It turned out nothing happened actually. I worried over nothing. Eversince I found out about the expelling & blocking thingy; never had once I stopped praying for Allah to show me the truth.

Alhamdulillah...Dia Maha Mendengar. The truth has revealed itself. Eventhough I decided to just ignore what had happened & move on with life...I still hope I will get the answer somehow. Didn't know where I got the gut to buzz her in YM & asked what actually happened. I was afraid though that she might ignore my IM. Few seconds after I buzz her...I saw "***** is typing" on the bottom screen. Anxious me waited for the reply. First line was "Wassalam. Tanya apa? *kiss icon*" And I was like...biar betik budak ni. I shoot my Q straight away...why I was being expelled & blocked. Memang ndak malu kan. The reply certainly gave me a heart attack...adrenaline rasa berbuih² mau naik. She said "Itu pula...jangan risau bah. Bukan block or delete ko jak, tapi semua orang sampai ada orang cakap aku kecewa bercinta".

LMAO adalah rasa mau cekik diri sendiri for being so dramatic over this thing. Seriously, tiap saat rasa gundah selagi ndak dapat jawapan ok. Juga mau cekik dia; baru mengasi ketawa orang ndak hengat punya. Sabarlah hati, nanti akan tiba masa ko aku kasi kena. Tunggu ah.

Conclusion here; jangan rasa sedih or down kalau belum tau punca sebenar something tu jadi. Bersandar sama Dia, insya Allah jalan yang suram & keliru akan kembali terang. Alhamdulillah; ndak sudah jiwa aku ketidaktenteraman. *sniff sniff*

Syukur..syukur...syukur.

Obviously previous entry was a rigid prove that a beast does exist in me. I roar whenever I was force to enter a room that I despise. When thing as such occurred, madness was ignited. Awaken the lunacy part of me.

I don't have any idea why it happened. And I was kind of shocked upon knowing it. My IT skill wasn't as bad as I thought. Considering the fact I came to know about it through the net. Gunanya menggodek site orang. *standing ovation to me*

Figuring it out by myself rather than from someone else; made me relieved. Well at least, I found it out without even trying to dig. And I never bloody expected what will I see upon flipping the site. Never did I know by being a bit nosy I will find something that eventually change my perspective towards some people.

Being 'expelled' was 2nd & being 'blocked' was the least I care about. The 1st was to search for the answer on what wrong have I done. As far as I'm concerned, we were doing fine. Last time we chatted was like a week ago & we ended the conversation like always. Its kind of tiring asking urself what is wrong. She must have heard rumors or whatever that changed her view on me. But as a friend she should have ask me directly rather than choosing to just accept what she heard.

How do I come clean with such person? Will texting her be the solution? Or should I pick up the phone & bloody call her. And then what should I do after getting the answer? Apologize? What if that won't work? Should I just forgive her when saying sorry didn't seem to work with her....and move on with my life?

Gah...I rarified the simplicity; AGAIN. Too many ifs made me dizzy & sometimes I lost my sense of judgment because of it. 1st thing 1st, am gonna make sure what caused that person's sudden act. Ok adalah ndak malu mau tau why I was being shut. Sigh I just need to know the reasons lie behind all this. Hati gue kok nggak tenteram diperlaku gini. If she's not a good friend; I might as well let this thing go. But she's not just that ordinary friend. She's more to a little sister to me.

Didn't ever thought I will somehow meet someone who could be someone else in a blink; once more.

I'm still trying to adapt myself with the situation she had put me in. Shall I just close my eyes, take a deep breath & let go? I'm a little confuse here...not knowing the cause makes me agitated. Not being able to think & decide accordingly; gives me nausea. I wanna puke like; everytime I think about it.

Ugh this is insane. How could I let someone to determine my happy meter, right? Its mine to control..solely. Why on earth did I let someone rules my feeling. There's more to cherish in life other than dwelling on the situation & getting drawn with its complexity. I've got too many tangled situations in my hand already; ditching 1 of them will make my untangling job easier.

I guess going with the flow will narrow my worriness. Need some fresh air to breathe now for I kind of dislike the air I am breathing at the moment. It chokes, it suffocates, it contains too many poisonous particles. Kundasang trip this weekend will soothe the soul; I know. Air there is much fresher, view much calmer. Tranquil will I be up there.

Never judge anyone. Why not try looking at yourself on the mirror prior judging. Losing a nice sister like her might be a great lose for me...but losing myself is the greatest of all. Perlu utamakan diri before others. Ohh come on, lets face it. Don't be such a hypocrite. How could I say I love someone when I have less love for myself? Indeed, its unfair.

There are many things I could put my focus on...rather than this. What goes around, comes around. Perhaps I might have done the same thing in the past hence the consequence. I called it K.A.R.M.A. Didn't know I will get hit this time, I don't see it's coming though. Allah bayar cash...jadi silalah jangan terkejut badak ya Cik Err.

Phew...it's too long an entry this time. I feel lighter after pouring everything in here. It's 1 of my way to meditate. It's like by 'writing' I have eventually put all the stress & tense I shouldered; documented. It's good for future reviewing...orang bilang kasi jadi lesson.

Woot woot...I have a pretty silly Q here. That is to ask YOU; am I allowed to have a moment for curhat session in this site?

Hell YES! Like duhhhh; of course lah kan. Afterall this is my blog. I ain't need permissions from anyone. I can just barf anything I feel like to.

NO, I CANT? Then, u are more than welcome to leave this page. Go move to whatever site that is appropriate for ur reading. NOW. I never force nor threaten u to stop by. I'm sure u're big enough to tell & filter what's good & bad for u. So, shoo off IF rasa 'mata kepedihan'.

Apa kes kan tiba² macam sakit meroyan buang tabiat. Well darling, I am annoyed & irritated. And that; I assumed have answered ur big WHY. I could see it's written on ur forehead. I hope that 5 words of explanation will do as a reply to why-the-sudden-emo-intro Q of urs. Ughh...geram tahap gaban.

Gahh...I found out something that really got me thinking just now. Should I thanked myself for the discovery or just bang my head against the wall. That newfound thing poked my madness button & triggered it to another higher level.

I reaaaallllly need to cool this chafe off. And start searching for the advantageousness that this thing brings to my life. *cough cough* Perlu ketenangan di sini. Perlu damai.

Baru mau sejuk; suddenly the mind goes like; "Kenapalah kunun gatal pigi menggobek tadi?" And I heard a voice answered "Bah ngamlah menggobek. Kalau ndak sampai bila baru tau? Nah tu kan sign dari Dia. Ndak kan masih mau buat bongok?"

Ok FINE...all this while, adalah mengikut what the heart says. Dengan persetujuan Tuan Minda of course. A thorough examination need to be done in order to ensure hati & minda work more efficient. Errors could happened but harus cepat dikesan. Nanti jadi kudis, bernanah & busuk...parah!

When I was in my most irritated mode just now; piece of advice lessen my agitation.

"Uzlahkan diri dari kesibukan dunia; kelukan lidah dengan perbanyakkan tasbih; matikan hati dari berangan tentang dunia lantas hayatilah Al-Quran & matikan jasad dengan banyakkan zikrullah"

Perhaps I was busy dreaming about the future. Or too busy planning for it. Without preparing anything for my 'journey' there. Astagfirullahalazim. Jauh aku terlajak pula kan. Apa kes dunia didahulukan ni. Serves me right though. Hati jadi kering bah gara² ikut arahan dari si laknat. Perlu wake up...perlu tebalkan shield aku.

I had a movie date with Eda last night. We watched 'When in Rome' at GSC, 1 Borneo.

Initial plan was to have a dinner before movie as we haven't seen each other for nearly months. Eda takes her master degree in KK for about 2 years already. During that period we haven't get the chance to do a movie datetogether yet. Totally the opposite to what we always do back in Kolumpur. Blame the schedules...ngeh~~

When in Rome was awesome. It's somehow a light flick but I still love it. In time of despair, this movie is kind of a remedy. Curing the injury. Poyo. Kesiokan ketawa from the start till the end...Eda laughed hard too. Sesuai gila untuk jiwa kacau. All in all, it worthed my RM8 ticket.

This morning, I had breakfast with Pijah whom will be going back to Kolumpur this afternoon. Brought her to the java stall at Gaya Street...favourite makan place for most of the family members.

After breakfast, I took her to some must-see places in KK for some pixie session. I firstly took her to Bukit Bendera. Kalau bawa malam, harus tempah bala kan. Jadi bawa lah time siang, dapat dia tinguk view of KK during the day.

~Us @Bukit Bendera~

She went all gaga while we're up there. Aku kan dah kata Pijah oii, KK ini adalah sangat cantik. The blue ocean almost makes her scream. Sebab di Kolumpur, 'laut' yang ada hanyalah man-made. Harus the smell ndak kan sama. After BB, bawa dia pigi area Pelabuhan. Then off to Tanjung Lipat. Sebab mengejar masa yang jeles sama kami, last destination was Likas Mosque. I wish we have more time.

No worries for she'll be back here again with Bear...harap next year lah. Baru ngam aku aku amik cuti & stay overnight in Kundasang. Ronda² the highland also invade the islands. Insya Allah...dengan izin Nya.

Gotta go now...have to send the cousins to Indah Permai. Ada sesi mengaji gitu.

Had an early morning conversation with Chenta Hati over the phone ...

*phone rang*

Moi: Hmmm..
CH: Ni aku malas call orang bisu...bagus ndak la payah ko pakai fon.
Moi: Hmmm..
CH: Bah sms jak la kita.
Moi: Miss u.
CH: Ohoo ada suara. *giggles* Siok eh ada orang rindu ni.
Moi: Erk siok ka? Bah aku rindu Edward la gini. Bagus sama dia sebab boleh panjat pokok & terbang.
CH: Siok la...tapi kalau si PF rindu aku lagi best lah. Boleh aku digendong oleh dia selalu.
Moi: Membalas!!! Bah aku mau start merajuk sudah ni...bye.
CH: Bah aku pun malas memujuk sudah ni...mau kerja cari duit kasi bakal anak bini makan dulu. L.U

Moi: Teetttt..

Adalah gembira tahap gaban. Rasa mau jak cakar² batang pokok ala bunga sakura depan ofis ni.

Since today is Friday...therefore CH reminds me *baaaanyak kali since last night* to say ONLY good things. Because words we uttered are like prayer...bukan jak hari Jumaat bah but effect lagi umphh on Friday. Araso?

Ok then...let's say our prayer together. But skip the part on changing my mind on having the pink dais for our big day. Thank you.

Holla readers...

I am sleepy I wanna hire someone to drive Kens & send me home. I have reduce my coffee consumption since last week. I guess that explain the sudden weariness & laziness huh. Ohoo this time I won't let myself lose to such situation. Perjuangan mesti diteruskan.

This morning, masuk ofis a bit late. Alkisah, an old friend from high school came down to KK. Met her over breakfast @IP Cafe, Gaya Street. It would have been merrier if the rest join her. sigh how time flies. Semua pun sekarang busy with their own life. But luckily we managed to keep in touch...thanks to technology.

I wish the rest would have the chance to come down here...I so wanna show them the beautiful of this land below the wind. Specially to dear Salbear whom; like moi enjoyed the magnificient view of sunset & the highlands. Ndak papa kengkawan, there will still be time for us to reunite di bumi KK ni. Insya Allah.

As for tonight...I might be somewhere in Tg. Aru with this Puchong friend of mine. Pijah ialah orang Puchong; hence the signature name. Sekian.

And macam ada perasaan mau join her to Kundasang tomorrow. Damn, why does the cafe has to operate on Friday? Erm Boss, can I take the EL tomorrow & the day after? Or close the cafe for only 2 days? Dusyum...pingsan Bungsu dengar idea bongek aku.

I so miss the misty air there. Like; bolehkah pasang angan² mau cari rumah & stay sana.

Chenta hati; please take note on this ya.

Erk...I'm on the verge of insanity. Like...boleh kah aku bom Perod*a.

Miss Kens was sent to the service center a.k.a clinic yesterday morning. After an hour, the mechanic told me that they might need hours to fix her. They will need to dismantle the engine...check the a/c compressor...and reassemble. She'll be ready by 6pm.

Harus ndak mau bangas di sana. Luckily a dear friend offered himself to pick me up & send me back to workplace. Before heading back to the office, we had lunch @Fook Yuen, Asia City. After so many intentions to go there...finally yesterday, tertunai.

Brother fetched me around 5pm at the cafe. Arrived Perod*a an hour & a half later. Black clouds indicated that heavy rain will soon come pouring. Kens wasn't done with her check up...jadi bertambah awan hitam dalam hati. Brother waited for her...I went back home with mother.

So what's with the bombing thingy? Ughh...compressor breaks down. And the people there claimed the engine was covered with dust hence the damage. Gila apa...enjin baru cuci last month. And the compressor is a brand new 1. Unless masa rosak tu hari they replaced the original with a 2nd hand item. Ken's original compressor broke down sometime last year. And it took nearly a month or 2 for the new 1 to arrive from their HQ in Kolumpur.

At that time I don't see the urge to be mad ALTHOUGH it wasn't logic at all. Perlukah tunggu more than a week? What happened to courier services? DHL? City Link? Or yang paling cikai Pos Malaysia? And after a month or 2...boleh gitu dia break down lagi? And this time, I could see cleary the reason for me to roar.

Last time, they replaced it for free. Because it's still under warranty & Kens hasn't reached the max mileage yet. Now I might need to pay for the bloody new compressor because Kens has exceeded the max mileage hence she is not covered under the warranty anymore.

IF I have the EWC = Extended Warranty Card, Kens will be under warranty for another 2 more years. BUT because we didn't received the card from our insurance company or perhaps the more appropriate way to say it is we still haven't received any EWC yet; I still need to use MY own cash. I know Pacifi* Or*ent Insurance pun memang lembab gila...hence I'm thinking of bombing it as well. Supposedly semua kereta yang previously warranted for 5 years will get the extended 2 years automatically. Tapi c Kens? Nan ado. *inhale exhale*

Enough with the stuff already...bikin nafas turun naik. Thing happened for a reason. Mesti ada hikmah ni menanti di depan. Hmm...ditto the idea to bomb. Should start praying for the EWC to be obtain soon-ish; sounds far more better.

Anyhow, I so can't wait for April to end. The R will be up soon. The trip with my ladies on the Labor Day...trip with my family on Kaamatan. Yay with so many beautiful things awaiting...I should stop all the gripes & treasure life more. Rather than becoming Miss Whiney.

Alkisah...this morning, I brought down plastics of rubbish from home. Mau buang dalam green bin on the way out from my house area. Adalah pemalas tahap gaban...siap taruk semua tu sampah dalam Miss Kens sebab ndak mau berjalan ke arah green bin. Sila maklum, sampah adalah kering ok jadi tiada ayat geli di situ.

Hmm atas kerajinan nan jitu maka kelupaan pun melanda....bolehnya sampah tu aku bawa sekali pigi cafe. This happened twice this month...kasi ketawa diri sendiri tadi. Gila jauh aku membuang sampah...from Penampang to Sepanggar. Siap bawa makan angin bah.

I sent mother to her office before heading to workplace. Bumped into an ex-friend of mine. A person whom I called close friend back then. Whom I shared laughter & tears with. Unfortunately; something happened along the way & made me tore the friendship apart. Cause I don't feel like I need to keep the bond anymore. I chose to ditch because I don't favor the word pretending. And I despise the word treachery.

How could I act like nothing happened when in fact, it happened. Coming clean won't make any difference either. Thus, in order to end the chaos I opted backing off. I don't want to lengthen the topsy-turvyness. Tiada guna untuk teruskan that bond if thing as such occurred.

And I'm glad I did what I did. After walking away; loads more shit appeared. Semua yang hidden eventually emerged from the mask. Thank God I didn't take forever to realize the truth...baru nampak kurap sebenar di sebalik topeng itu. Hmm...I bet that person is feeling the same thing too; it's the feeling of blissfulness that we're no longer friends. Regardless what happened...I cherished the memories we once had. Perhaps it is better this way...than continue masking & pretending.

Upon seeing that friend this morning...my heart didn't skip a single beat like it used to. And the fact that I didn't portayed any offending expression; made me feel even good. I guess I no longer hold grudges nor revenge against that person. I don't know if there's still anger left against the rest.

But for now, I know the hatred I once felt had gone. I'm so much relieved.

To YOU, may u have a bless life. Sentiasa dilindungi Allah...insya Allah.

p/s Terima kasih kepada En. Ijal juga kerana telah memungut saya dari Perodua Penampang lantas ke KK untuk lunch & langsung ke tempat kerja di Sepanggar. Al kisah, Miss Kens hanya siap diservis pada jam 6 petang. Harus bangas kan kalau terusan menanti di sana.

Syukran for the zero Monday blues mode. I used to be such a moody person when Monday comes...I whine more, I griped more than any other days.

I hated it when the blues gained the authority to control my mind. Specially towards my sense of judgement. Over the years, I tried my very best to avoid such melodramatic mode. I was pretty resistant at first but became accustomed to it eventually.

And alhamdulillah...'hard work' got paid off. I finally managed to keep my distance from the blues. Determination is 1 of the key to success. Being able to handle the emotion is another. I'm proud of myself. *bangga dibolehkan tapi jangan sampai riak*

I woke up immediately as the alarm in my head; rang, this morning. Was all ready in 30 mins. I could still tolerate with the traffic congestion on the way to workplace. Nothing bad happened as to start the day.

It's all up to us actually...on how we want the rest of the day turns out. If u have earlier set the mind it would be bad, then it will. And vice versa. Kita corak apa situasi yang berlaku ndak kira apa pun faktor luaran yang dikasi jadi sebagai alasan.

Lately, migraine selalu datang attacking the system. I haven't found the ultimate answer for this. Early prediction; increase power of the lens. Tapi adalah malas tahap gaban mau pigi jumpa optometrist. Padahal weekend bukan main bersandiwara di Warisan. Hancur.

Hair falls pun punya dasyat. Sudahlah forehead makin luas...chopper pun sudah boleh landing. Hmm...

Hari berkeluarga adalah hari Ahad...

Spent the whole day with family. Sangat best. And tiba² berangan to have a family of my own.

To my chenta hati; please take note... *wink wink*

Had breakfast @Wan²...mother was working out of town since yesterday so I left home alone to meet rest of the members there. Brother was sleeping soundly hence I ditto the idea to wake him up. Ndak baik ok kacau orang yang sedang tidur dalam ketenangan.

After breakfast, went back home. Mother arrived not long after I reached home. Rest kejap & off we went to Warisan Sq. Sebab plan kelmarin was canceled last minute by Nia; harus bayar hutang shopping by today. Or else, akan mimpi ngeri lagi malam ni.

And I finally bought the ala-gladiators Vincci sandals I've been eyeing since last month. Selamat dirasmi petang tadi...ngeh~~ juga membeli new shades. That shades is definitely listed as 1 of the must-things-to-bring for MY Bali trip this coming June.


Note to the bffs...please acknowledge the shades ok. And sila puji juga nanti. *dancing banana dance*

Another fabulous weekend for me...alhamdulillah. I am uber grateful for each & everything The Almighty has bestowed upon me.

Perhaps, I must have done something right in the past to deserved all these blessings. Syukran ya Allah.

Working Sat for moi.

It's raining cats & dogs since yesterday. Ohh ada pula Miss Sunshine emitted some lights early this morning. I really thought it's going to be a sunny Saturday just now.

But it started drizzling upon reaching workplace...and that proved me wrong about the sunny thingy.

We'll be having short briefing with the staffs this evening.

Later, akan invade Warisan with cousin sister; Nia. Harus beli apa sudah berkurun dihajatkan. Nanti mimpi ngeri selagi niat ndak tertunai.

Fab Friday for me..blessed as well.

Drizzles greet me early this morning. And rain started pouring on my way to workplace. Alhamdulillah...the weather has been extremely hot since Monday. Can't bear with the cracking heat sometime; head feels like spinning.

Life is sailing, albeit a bit slow; to a better course. Alhamdulillah. I shall be walking away from the impasse road soon. I'm gonna bid jiwa batu mode; a goodbye too.

Right now adalah mau lari dari drag diri ke lembah bahaya. Damn it. Aku mau ketawa besar. Why oh why thing like this could occurred now. NO I won't start asking myself with the what ifs Qs anymore. What happened, has happened. I do not need to dwell into the past. Even dapat balik & given the oppurtunity to change the course; I won't change a thing. Ever. Not even a tiny bit of it.

Untuk yang empunya body;

MAAF deh loh...udah kelewatan dong. Gue nggak interested untuk mau tahu yang lanjut lagi. Gue ini nggak punya apa², juga nggak ada yang speselnya kan? Bukan gitu yang loh omong ke gue dulu? Letak tepi jalan juga nggak ada yang sudi kutip. Jadi apa-an si loh nggak putus kejarin & susahkan hidup gue sampai saat ini? Udah² lah...cari aja yang kaya raya, yang harga dirinya tinggi; yang pasti itu bukan gue. Gue cadangi, loh pikiran aja hal orang lain selepas ini ya. Titik.

Hmm tukar topic; sekian.

I hit the sack pretty early this evening...down to dreamland after Maghrib prayer. And woke up 4 hours later. Dengar bunyi drum & gitar dalam perut...then macam ada konsert pula. Alkisah; perut adalah kosong. Gue laper. Had laksa for breakfast, choc waffle for lunch...and now I'm in the midst of enjoying my supper; 2 pieces of pizza + hot nescafe. So much of a healthy diet huh.

Will be sailing back to dreamland in a bit...mau kasi turun dulu ni makanan.

*sigh*

what's with the sudden sighing? Phew...I've been generally incompetent these past few days. I fumbled almost everything.

Still I haven't found the reasons that lie beneath these awkwardness.

Jiwa ndak kacau juga tapi rasa ada lohong. Kenapa ahh suddenly ada rasa pelik macam ni.

The feeling I've been having lately make things more complicated. Yes peeps, I rarified simple things because I love dragging myself into the melodramatic phase.

The jigsaw puzzle symbolize my heart. 1 piece went missing when u're not around me. Hence, the incompleteness.

I know exactly; missing u is not the main reason for this uncertainty feeling. My mood fluctuates every 5 minutes...that is enough reason to say u're not the one who pulled the trigger.

I wish u were here with me...and I pray I will pass this through soon-ish.

Cepatlah petang menjelma...sangat ndak selesa sudah duduk di ofis bersama jiwa nan keliru ini. Alangkah gumbira hati kalau dapat balik & tidur.

OMG...I've been trying to cease this voice in the mind; also these feeling.

Truth is; while trying to cease the voice I secretly tell the heart to not stop having those feeling. Bummer! Bisa pecah jantung kalau terusan gini tau.

I have a confession to make here...that is;

I BLOODY MISS U; MY OTHER HALF. I WISH I COULD FLY RIGHT NOW & BE BY UR SIDE.

Ok NOT right now as it's night already. Nanti ada kuntilanak bubut aku; lain kalau si Edward. Tapi kalau Edward muncul, nah kelupaan pula aku mau continue terbang pi tempat mu. Aishh payah kan. Jadi aku tukar ayat ah Honey.

I BLOODY MISS U; MY OTHER HALF. I WISH I COULD FLY & BE BY UR SIDE. Kalau dapat 1st flight bisuk lagi best kan.

Psst...harus buat something to keep the mind busy. Coba untuk membawa tidur tapi kesusahan melanda. Boleh² aku dengar suara dia. Memang sah mabuk taik ayam ndak hengat dunia.

Ya Allah...lindungi aku.

Phew it's Wednesday already...how time flies these days. Even if it's December now, I will not be shock anymore.

I feel like something is wrong with me lately. Ever heard of the word buang tabiat? That's pretty much alike of what I feel at this very moment.

Aku rasa geram almost all the time. Geram not as in holding the anger or waiting to burst out. It's like there's something in my heart suffocates me. And what make it worst is the fact that I bloody not know the reason towards this peculiar feeling. Choiii..!

There are times I feel like crying my heart out loud. There are times I feel like screaming. And I feel sleepy everytime I came into the office. Mata adalah berat tapi harus ndak kan dapat tidur. Bahu belah kanan started to swollen up...I couldn't bear the pain sometimes.

Is it possible to take off my neck; untangle the disorganize nerves & later put it on. Ughh I wish. Sudahlah migraine makin menjadi². I think I need to pay a visit to the optical shop very soon-ish. Rasa power lens sudah naik...hence the frequent headache. Harus mata pun sakit sekali...feels like it's going to pop out anytime.

This time I might be wearing those color lens like I did few years back. Mau jadi orang putih sesat...yang kelebihan carbon di kulit. But will only put them on when I'm not working. Gila di cafe pun mau bermata grey...tawar terus rasa sup soto tu karang.

Speaking of soto...baru ingat aku order waffle pula tadi. Ok lah, gotta get moving. Mau mencekik al-waffle sebentar.

First of all I would like to wish my ex-roommate; back in UniMalaya a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Dzidatul Akmaliah, wish u all happiness & blessing throughout the year. Cepat² dapat anak ye...Bibie nak collect anak buah ni. And I also pray for ur marriage to last until the end of time. Amin.

The UMS* students are on a break this week...hence cafe wasn't as packed as always. Study week kononnya.

I spent half day inside the office...can't stand the heat out there. Lately, migraine attack are pretty often. And hair falls sangat dasyat. Keja aku dalam bilik recently, pungut rambut on the floor. In a week, gumpalan boleh buat sanggul sudah kalau aku kumpul.

Mother suggested that I should go see the doctor...bukan minta² bad thing jadi but it's just a precaution. Sebab selalu sangat migraine. Prevention is better than cure; katanye. Insya Allah, ndak da papa juga bah ni.

This morning, I was talking to a man from my past through YM. Membawa ke petang lah juga. It's great to know I hold no hatred or grudges towards him anymore. Kisah kami boleh buat novel...friends tell me this all the time.

Syiok tau dapat bercerita sama orang yang once was my sweetheart...yang dulu kongsi kasih sayang kononnya. And knows what I like & dislike. Also tau my characters quite well. Jadinya senang mau curhat...I feel like I'm free to tell him anything. Ndak payah sesi control marah or control bahasa or control words I shall utter. Kebebasan bercakap...regardless what the topic is.

And I must give tons of credit to him for not wanting to continue our relationship. Really I am.

Truth to be told; I learned hatfuls of things when I was with him. And I learned more, get more judicious & smarter without him too. I gained loads; to conclude everything.

I'm happy with how he lives his life now. Oh by the way, he's a married man now. Ada son super cutie. Grrr akan berjumpa si kecil tu when I go down to KL next month.

Sangat ketidaksabaran...after years of not seeing him. Yes I do admit I miss him...but that feeling ada boundary ok. I've build it long time ago. Eee dulu adalah kebencian tahap maksimum sama dia. I even build a wall of hate & anger towards him.

But over the years, the wall I once build engulfed everything I felt back then. Yang aku ndak perasan pun semua rasa sakit hati tu sudah lama hilang rupanya. Best ok rasa yang begini...penat bah paksa diri tanam rasa benci tu dulu. Hate wearied the mind & soul. Indeed. Lucky enough, sanity masih setia sama aku until now.

Back then bila that jiwa punah ranap phase took place; aku adalah rasa mau benci seluruh alam. Cursing & swearing were my bestfriends. Dada sakit sebab allowed too many hatred entered the system. Judge orang ikut kata hati more than ikut logic. Hancur.

I'm proud with myself because I managed to pass through that phase albeit it did took years for me to saw the outcomes. Years to realized the consequences of it.

Kenapalah dulu degil betul...padahal bukan ndak belajar pasal agama. Nilah orang bilang, lidah jak melafazkan tapi hati bukan tau apa yang diucapkan. Beriman dengan qada & qadarNya...IF only dari dulu aku benarkan benda ni absorb dalam hati, harus aku ndak rugi banyak benda. I've wasted lots of my times hating him...also trying to convince myself that he's a jerk.

Ended up, hidup sendiri huru hara. I ran away everytime the mind asked me to just accept the fact. I deny things. Phew....memang banyak benda merugikan. Belum lagi campur whining & complaining parts. I used to be such an ungrateful person...sebab ndak pernah bersyukur sama nikmat Nya ok.

No wonder dulu selalu rasa dada sempit...rezeki nan ado. Syukur sekarang ada kesedaran sikit. Alhamdulillah.

Like I said earlier...dulu rasa dunia macam hancur when we broke up, not knowing apa yang bakal aku belajar. But now, aku tau ada hikmah di sebalik semua yang jadi.

Thing happened for a reason...always. Dia Maha Tahu apa yang terbaik untuk hamba Nya...jadi kena terima semua dengan redha.

Insya Allah..

Last week wasn't as busy as few weeks back. Less stress...I would say life is so much at ease. Except for the incident that happened last Fri...the 1 that has successfully tested my level of patience.

Dugaan hari Jumaat. Later that night, I managed to get my fluctuating feeling back to normal phase.

Thank God ada baca Yassin the night before. Malam Jumaat bagus baca Yassin...sedekah sama orang sudah pergi meninggalkan kita. Also untuk ketenangan hati. Like bestie Ernie; I too will feel a bit awkward bila terskip reciting. 1 week tu akan rasa semua benda susah mau handle...akan selalu rasa macam hilang sabar even towards simple thing. Paling haru, hati macam gundah.

I spent my Sunday morning at the beach with mother & cousins. Membawa si kecil berdua mandi laut. Went back home nearly noon; adalah ndak ketahanan panas mentari.

My plan to watch sunset with cousin; Nia was cancelled. We'll resume the plan next week then.

And as for today...nothing much to tell. At the moment, life sails pretty much the ordinary way.

Will stay at home tonight...gonna start my wall deco project with the bedroom first. Supaya bila ndak kecantikan si ibu, ndak lah aku bingung dengar kritikan dia. Bilik ku jadi bahan experiment; harus rela.

Woke up early only to realized that I am on leave today. Biological clock has permanently set the mind to 7am now. Parah sebab Subuh prayer masih depends on alarm clock ok. What's more when it comes to tahajjud. Memang harus alarm clock tu diset untuk repeat every 5 mins.

I was supposed to sit for an exam this morning...but the heart & mind didn't feel like going. Because I've decided to not go...off I went back to dreamland. 2 hours later...I was all awake. Took my shower...berdandan ala pink only to match the new pink handbag. Breakfast with mother at the Java stall in Damai.

Alkisah walau bercuti...tetap hadir diri ke cafe. Collection kena record since Bungsu ada football match this evening.

And I have just found out how brilliant cik Err is. Read this.

Friend #1: Ko bilang ada new blog...mana tu url.

Moi: Oo lupa kestau. Ni nah bah. *giving her the url*

Friend #2: Bah mana url blog baru...saya mau follow. Blog ko lagi 1 bersarang sudah.

Moi: Ya kan lupa...bah ni nah.

Friend #3: Uit...url blog.

Moi: Adeii lupa...ni nah.

And few minutes later..

Friend #1 & #2 & #3: Mana boleh buka tu..bilang public can view. Yg tu invited readers jak.

Moi: Oo ya ka. Jap sy cek.

............few seconds after...........

Moi: Ahaks..sorry tu ari sy kesiokan create new blog so dlm proses mo adjust sy kasi viewable only to author. 1 month sudah sy buat entries, rupanya sy jak SS baca sendiri. It's still under viewable to author setting.

Friends: Buduh palui kan kalau ko.

Moi: Ok lah right away sy kasi public.

Friends: Bah capat.

Super brilliant right? I told u. I procrastinate...and in the end, I tend to forget about it.

But will only published it to public tomorrow. And harus ingat untuk thread the bffs. Nanti c Madam Laura mengaus.

My Friday started blissfully...

I woke up early. No traffic congestion to workplace. Alhamdulillah.

The air at the cafe pun sangat breezy & calming. Effect from yesterday's pouring I guess. Everything seems so perfect. Came afternoon, the peacefulness air finally polluted by some bloody brilliant group of people.

phew...I wouldn't say this "Kalau bukan ni tempat cari duit, lama suda aku terkam dia" nor this "Mau aku mengamuk bah tapi fikir juga tempat tu ramai orang" for I know IF the situation occurred elsewhere than my workplace or some place yang ndak ramai orang, I will still react the same.

And I don't think I need to explain to u why I didn't 'eat' them. Walking away from any argument doesn't mean u lose. Instead it shows ur level of patience & ur personality. Wahh kunun aku tadi apalah...berkarisma? Hancur!

But seriously, orang yang marah & cakap ndak ketentuan adakah timing dia buka telinga & listen to what we say? I apologized few times but tu pun ndak bagi dia apa makna. Hence I chose to stop the chaos by walking away. And keep my mouth shut. Bertekak sama orang separuh sedar won't make me look better than one. Adios gitu.

Hmmm...unsangkarable, educated people macam tu boleh buat standardization dalam hal mau respect orang. Like hello...perlukah zaman sekarang ni tinguk level of edu orang? Cari kerja pun orang tinguk experiences ok. What's more when it comes to respecting one as a human being.

Aduilah manusia, cepat betul lupa diri. Baru menapak naik menara gading; belum tau sampai puncak ka ndak tapi sudah ajar diri judge orang guna kepala lutut.

Oklah enough with the lepas geram already. Hari Jumaat adalah ndak baik merungut & cakap merapu. Basahkan lidah dengan zikrullah cik Err...load the mind with good thoughts. Only then will I get to free my mind from anxiety & mental stress.

Insya Allah...all in good times.

Subhanallah...praise be to Allah the Almighty.

Tadi order pink handbag online...made the payment during lunch. An hour later, it was delivered at my doorstep. Kesukaan ndak payah cakap. Thanks Allah untuk rasa ini.

On the way back from workplace, witnessed a miracle on the sky. Double rainbow it was. Gila rasa terkedu sekejap...but too bad I didn't get to capture that. Kereta berbaris di atas jalan, haruslah safety first kan.

And when I reached home, matahari adalah superbly amazing. I was mesmerized. The rays, the light...all are perfect. Menitis airmata menyaksikan keindahan ciptaan Nya.


Maha Suci Allah.

Sila tahu...untuk dapat pic ni, harus aku lari ala cute pas parked Miss Kens. Grabbed the Blackie from my room, rushed to the block yang boleh dapat view ni. Ngeh~~semangat ok.

Aduyai...

all of a sudden, that song haunted me once more. Feel like I was dragged to the past; 13 years back. And I found myself humming the melody for few times already since I heard Ain of AF8 sang it last night.

It's not about who dedicated the song to me...really.

But it's more to the memories. Phew I miss my high school years. Specially time rambo bersama & berjiwang karat. Also time jiwa punah ranap.

I wish I could go back to that time & live it once more. Without changing a thing because I believe what happened back then made me the way I am now. I appreciate every single things I did & received...because through them, I learned more about life. I grew wiser because of them too.

I know so well Bear will laugh at me if she reads this. Antara manusia yang menyaksikan transformasi aku masa sekolah dulu adalah minah tu.

How time flies...another 2 years before I reach the big three-zero number. Ala no jak pun kan...apa yang penting, banyak mana amalan dihimpun untuk bekalan. Araso?

This morning..once more I opted to switch into my drama queen mode. Migraine attacked the system prior warning for the umteenth times.

So...in order to attract my darling's attention, haruslah aku berdrama sejenak. This time dilayan penuh perasaan because last time; the DQ session wasn't successful enough. Berkasih sayang adalah ndak salah.

And right now I am on the verge of my sanity. Gahh masih dalam mode DQ pula bah.

I was uploading pictures in my MY PRECIOUS album in FB...and suddenly dear friend of mine asked what's the caption for the pic I've just uploaded. Boleh terus idea masuk & aku start mengarang ayat jiwang batu karat? *hint: She gave me some rough idea to start with...provoking lah tu kan*

And also in the midst of using 100% Bahasa Melayu baku with Ijal through YM. "Saya boleh pengsan kerana terlalu menahan rasa geli hati"

Oh btw, thanks pren for ur idea on the password thingy. Bukit Fraser sounds rather cool for me. Memang tiada 2nd thought on that. Ahaks.

Alkisah...plan petang ni mau beach strolling cum photo outing with the cousins at the beach. Unfortunately, awan berarak lesu since afternoon. And heavy rain came pouring soon after.

Maka, rancangan buang dalam bakul sampah.

This morning, I had breakfast at Gaya Street. Then went to Wisma Merdeka to buy some stuffs for the cousins to wear for the so called photo shooting.

Because I think the pouring won't stop till night...dengan pantas I changed the plan. We went to Karamunsing instead...had light lunch at KentakiFC. Wandering around for a while, pastu balik.

Though rancangan ndak macam yang dirancang, I am happy sebab masih diberi peluang olehNya untuk bernafas di bumi ini. Alhamdulillah. Plus masih ada orang tersayang bersama² untuk menikmati keindahan bumi.

What's more could I ask for...what's been given to me is more than I deserve. Syukran Allah.

*mari minum hot choc malam ini*

My Oh my...thanks indeed for the so unneeded surprise honey. U nearly make me faint. Luckily otak masi waras...next time u do it again, I'm gonna smack ur face with tender-love-care u'll never forget about it.

Ok ampun...just joking. BUT if that thing happened once more, bersedia tunggu 'gaji' ah. U'll definitely getting the reward. Trust me...u know I ain't talk for nothing when it comes to rewarding u. Ngeh~~

Anyhow, today is a public holiday for the Sabahans. It's Good Friday for the Christians. Jarang bercuti during weekdays, mother & I decided to go for a movie date with the Bungsu's & my brothers. Watched Clash of The Titans. It wasn't so bad although nothing much as a lesson I could gain from the movie. In terms of morality & self confidence; loads. But untuk tambah ilmu di dada...kureng.

FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, it's preferable only for relaxation purposes. Again, it's my point of view. Kalau ndak sama with urs...sila jangan tunjuk ketidaksiuman anda.

Back from the movie, mother & I did some sweating activity. That is rearranging the house. I mean the susun atur. And because I kinda feel like my bedroom needs some transformation. as well..I promptly agreed to her suggestion.

3 hours later...I am fully satisfied with the new look of my bedroom. Walaupun cuma rearrange the furniture. Living room sudah biasa tukar arrangement so aku ndak berapa teruja. Unless mother changed the wallpaper or repaint the wall...tu lain cerita.

Akan more excited when I get all the pictures I've shoot before...framed. And hang on the wall. That project will start soon. I'm gonna surprise mother with that since she's been quite active teasing me about my photography things lately. Apa guna jadi member Art & Creative Club during high school right. Won't be keeping the so called hidden talent of mine goes rusty. Yay keperasanan terserlah.

And the end product of the mini project will be updated as soon as it's accomplished.

OMG I'm pregnant...NOT *knock on wood*. It's April Fool ya'll.

Tapi memang pun mau ada baby. I mean who doesn't? Ok cerita gitu sila simpan untuk yang rapat jak. Bukan untuk tatapan umum please.

Apr Fool reminds me of MY high school years. Staying in the hostel...senior adalah membuli habis on this day. Habis segala cadar diikat & digantung dari tingkat paling atas turun sampai badminton court. Ala Rapunzel gitu. Belum kira bila segala toothpaste / shampoo / body foam dikasi jadi deco lantai.

Memang rasa mau simbah semua senior tu sama air longkang...geram sebab HELLO tinggal di hostel budget adalah harus dijaga. Ingat barang tu semua beli pakai bulu ketiak?

But now...I value all those memories. Bukan time April Fool jak dikasi jadi fool. Kalau ndak kena timing, memang harus buat lawatan ke dorm senior. Kenangan kenangan...tanpamu jiwa ku kosong rasanya. Ahaks.

Tadi tinguk wayang sama ibu terchenta. Haunting in Connecticut; based on a true story. Lagi tinguk di Growball. Rasa takut terganggu sama bunyi orang karaoke lagu Amir Spring di luar ok. Huahh muntah hijau aku terus.

Nasib before movie, lepak Setabak & dapat seludup masuk si mocha blended dalam cinema hall. Hilang sikit mara.