I learned the hard ways when it comes to giving my trust to people. And I learned through the harder way as well about taking back the trust I'd given.

Honey; I ditched our friendship because I don't feel like wanting to have u as a friend anymore. End of story. But that doesn't mean I hate u nor giving me the reason to do revenge.

When I heard about what happened to u...I felt terribly sorry. I don't know whether I should praise the Lord or not.

But as far as I remember; I NEVER pray illness upon u. I only begged the Lord to open ur heart & be more sincere to your friends. And I also pray for the Lord to stop u from repeating the thing u did to me. I pray for u to quit hurting people the way u hurt me.

Kalau aku doa yang ndak baik untuk kau...serupa juga busuk aku sama kau kan. Oleh sebab ndak mau jadi busuk tulah aku doa yang baik². Aku pernah baca somewhere, bila kita doa yang jahat untuk orang yang buat onar sama kita...doa tu definitely akan backfire kita. Aku adalah sangat ndak perlu doa yang makan diri sendiri ok.

But honestly, didn't u ever heard karma runs pretty fast to people who need it's embrace. And that God pays cash these days?

It's never my intention to annoy u with my words...just that I feel sorry for u because reminder sudah dikasi banyak kali but still u never change. Instead u blame others for ruining ur life. Whatever u give, by all odds u will get it back darling.

Aku tau kubur masing² & that I don't need to interfere with ur life because we're no longer friend. Tapi, balasan Allah turunkan tu kena semua orang. Kalau dikasi banjir, bukan rumah kau sorang jak yang tenggelam. Mau 1 kampung juga tu yang akan ditimpa musibah.

Tulah kita disuruh untuk ingat mengingatkan. Hmm...cakap banyak ndak guna sebab nanti aku juga kena balik. Lumrah manusia akan melenting bila ditegur. Lagi melenting bila memang tau benda tu salah. I ain't angel as well but...

Apa yang paling aku harapkan? Agar kau dapat hidup yang bahagia; tenang jiwa & perasaan. Bahagia di dunia juga akhirat. Insya Allah, amin.

Jap lagi ada movie date with mother...Lovely Bones night @Growball, CP.

Sangat mengelak untuk tinguk wayang di sana sebab ndak suka tu keadaan. Everything about the place. Semua out. But terpaksa tinguk sana sebab other cinemas di KK adalah ndak menayang cerita tu. Grrrr geram.

Nasib feedbacks I got from Mel & Grunge membuat hati teruja untuk menerjah CP...this movie better be good or else aku akan sedih. Poyo.

Niat suci murni last night was to pay the nazar I've made; today. A promise I made to the Almighty if I get Cafe back. Ya ya...u are allowed to laugh dengan statement poyo tu. BUT I ain't joking here.

The children are part of my life already...IF 1 of them went missing, ada bahagian dalam jiwa jadi kosong. The bond between us; I can't simply describe with words. Honestly, dumping a boyfriend is waaaay easier to deal with than this situation.

Bolehnya aku ndak lena tidur fikir macam mana keadaan tu anak. Mana dia tidur...sudah makan ka belum...makan apa la knun dia & 1001 lagi soalan bonus dalam otak. Which all left unanswered...only tears flowing down. Ugh...biarlah emo sendiri pasal benda gini. I messed up with no one, right.

Anyways, Cafe went missing last Fri. I only noticed he's not in the house when I was about to hit the sack. Always as in every night *without failed*; he will be the 1st one to jump onto my bed. And when I didn't hear the sound he always made when he runs, I knew he's not in the house. I tried calling him outside the house many times but there wasn't any signal of him. Hampa & sedih gila rasa hati macam kuyak.

As it's nearly midnight already, I promised myself to search for him the next morning. Awal pagi ok. Still...tidurku ndak lena that night. Cafe never slept on the floor...selalu dia landing tempat yang ada alas. Adalah kucing yang perasan dia anak raja. And because of that aku kerisauan fikir mana dia tidur. Ughhh don't make me go to that zone...membayangkan dia menangis cari aku. Huahh pecah dada saat itu.

Last night, balik dari movie date with mother; I can't put myself to sleep. Jiwa masi ada lohong since Cafe masih ndak da bayang. So I decided to edit Pijut's wedding pics when suddenly Chombee bagai 'orang' hilang akal memeowkan diri. He jumped up the window...looked down; meow somemore; look back at me.

Me: Chombee, kalau tiada papa bagus diam. Unless u sense Cafe's presence.
Chombee: *scratching the wall with his claws* meow meow meow
Me: Ok I get it. Kakak turun bawah cari Cafe.

So I went down...berpusing few blocks. Chombee masih di luar tingkap, watching my steps. Just when I was about to go back, he meowed somemore. I stopped; looked up & asked him WHERE. Boleh pula dia sendeng leher di tingkap time tu...kesabaran aku. Sebab percaya sama naluri aku yang Cafe memang ada somewhere near me...aku pun start lah tapping fingers. Cafe responded to such signal dengan cepat. Ada jugalah rupa orang ndak siuman malam tu...buat merry go round kereta orang sambil main petik jari.

Uhuk...sebab jadi ndak siuman tu jugala Cafe suddenly muncul dari bawah kereta. At first I thought it was some stray cat...but when he started 'talking' baru ku tau itu suara anak aku. Haru biru sekejap aku melompat gumbira...pulled him out & cepat² kunun bungkus dia sama sweater yang aku pakai. Cafe adalah berbau diesel...gara² berkampung underneath MY neighbor's car for few days.

Upon reaching home...showed him to mother whom was already asleep. Happy mode di tengah malam buta ok. Berkat yakin & percaya sama kata hati...I finally got Cafe back. I am grateful for Allah has fulfilled my prayer once more.

Ya...I pray hard for Cafe to be found. Bah sama sepa lagi mau mengadu kalau bukan Dia? Even Cafe hanya kucing. Harus aku bayar nazar a.s.a.p. Ndak pasal jak nanti Allah murka sebab mungkir janji...dibayar dengan kesusahan hati; sudahlah Dia bayar cash nowadays.

Point utama entry mau kestau jak...

a) Cafe; lost & found.

b) Aku kira mau bayar nazar today but alas; menses came visiting. No wonder migraine super kick last few days...

That's the main point...tapi huraian boleh buat karangan sudah. Insya Allah akan resume bayar nazar right after habis menses.

Memblog dari handphone kunun...

Tengah mem-breakfastkan diri bersama si chenta hati.

Uhuk...sayang kamu banyak² & thanks bawa makan.

Food arrived...harus start makan sebelum dibebel.

Ughhh hati ada lubang...Cafe is missing since last night.

Lagi sakit dari sakit jiwa layan perangai B.K yang ndak paham bahasa. Serious it hurts to the very core of MY heart.