First of all I would like to wish my ex-roommate; back in UniMalaya a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Dzidatul Akmaliah, wish u all happiness & blessing throughout the year. Cepat² dapat anak ye...Bibie nak collect anak buah ni. And I also pray for ur marriage to last until the end of time. Amin.

The UMS* students are on a break this week...hence cafe wasn't as packed as always. Study week kononnya.

I spent half day inside the office...can't stand the heat out there. Lately, migraine attack are pretty often. And hair falls sangat dasyat. Keja aku dalam bilik recently, pungut rambut on the floor. In a week, gumpalan boleh buat sanggul sudah kalau aku kumpul.

Mother suggested that I should go see the doctor...bukan minta² bad thing jadi but it's just a precaution. Sebab selalu sangat migraine. Prevention is better than cure; katanye. Insya Allah, ndak da papa juga bah ni.

This morning, I was talking to a man from my past through YM. Membawa ke petang lah juga. It's great to know I hold no hatred or grudges towards him anymore. Kisah kami boleh buat novel...friends tell me this all the time.

Syiok tau dapat bercerita sama orang yang once was my sweetheart...yang dulu kongsi kasih sayang kononnya. And knows what I like & dislike. Also tau my characters quite well. Jadinya senang mau curhat...I feel like I'm free to tell him anything. Ndak payah sesi control marah or control bahasa or control words I shall utter. Kebebasan bercakap...regardless what the topic is.

And I must give tons of credit to him for not wanting to continue our relationship. Really I am.

Truth to be told; I learned hatfuls of things when I was with him. And I learned more, get more judicious & smarter without him too. I gained loads; to conclude everything.

I'm happy with how he lives his life now. Oh by the way, he's a married man now. Ada son super cutie. Grrr akan berjumpa si kecil tu when I go down to KL next month.

Sangat ketidaksabaran...after years of not seeing him. Yes I do admit I miss him...but that feeling ada boundary ok. I've build it long time ago. Eee dulu adalah kebencian tahap maksimum sama dia. I even build a wall of hate & anger towards him.

But over the years, the wall I once build engulfed everything I felt back then. Yang aku ndak perasan pun semua rasa sakit hati tu sudah lama hilang rupanya. Best ok rasa yang begini...penat bah paksa diri tanam rasa benci tu dulu. Hate wearied the mind & soul. Indeed. Lucky enough, sanity masih setia sama aku until now.

Back then bila that jiwa punah ranap phase took place; aku adalah rasa mau benci seluruh alam. Cursing & swearing were my bestfriends. Dada sakit sebab allowed too many hatred entered the system. Judge orang ikut kata hati more than ikut logic. Hancur.

I'm proud with myself because I managed to pass through that phase albeit it did took years for me to saw the outcomes. Years to realized the consequences of it.

Kenapalah dulu degil betul...padahal bukan ndak belajar pasal agama. Nilah orang bilang, lidah jak melafazkan tapi hati bukan tau apa yang diucapkan. Beriman dengan qada & qadarNya...IF only dari dulu aku benarkan benda ni absorb dalam hati, harus aku ndak rugi banyak benda. I've wasted lots of my times hating him...also trying to convince myself that he's a jerk.

Ended up, hidup sendiri huru hara. I ran away everytime the mind asked me to just accept the fact. I deny things. Phew....memang banyak benda merugikan. Belum lagi campur whining & complaining parts. I used to be such an ungrateful person...sebab ndak pernah bersyukur sama nikmat Nya ok.

No wonder dulu selalu rasa dada sempit...rezeki nan ado. Syukur sekarang ada kesedaran sikit. Alhamdulillah.

Like I said earlier...dulu rasa dunia macam hancur when we broke up, not knowing apa yang bakal aku belajar. But now, aku tau ada hikmah di sebalik semua yang jadi.

Thing happened for a reason...always. Dia Maha Tahu apa yang terbaik untuk hamba Nya...jadi kena terima semua dengan redha.

Insya Allah..

Last week wasn't as busy as few weeks back. Less stress...I would say life is so much at ease. Except for the incident that happened last Fri...the 1 that has successfully tested my level of patience.

Dugaan hari Jumaat. Later that night, I managed to get my fluctuating feeling back to normal phase.

Thank God ada baca Yassin the night before. Malam Jumaat bagus baca Yassin...sedekah sama orang sudah pergi meninggalkan kita. Also untuk ketenangan hati. Like bestie Ernie; I too will feel a bit awkward bila terskip reciting. 1 week tu akan rasa semua benda susah mau handle...akan selalu rasa macam hilang sabar even towards simple thing. Paling haru, hati macam gundah.

I spent my Sunday morning at the beach with mother & cousins. Membawa si kecil berdua mandi laut. Went back home nearly noon; adalah ndak ketahanan panas mentari.

My plan to watch sunset with cousin; Nia was cancelled. We'll resume the plan next week then.

And as for today...nothing much to tell. At the moment, life sails pretty much the ordinary way.

Will stay at home tonight...gonna start my wall deco project with the bedroom first. Supaya bila ndak kecantikan si ibu, ndak lah aku bingung dengar kritikan dia. Bilik ku jadi bahan experiment; harus rela.

Woke up early only to realized that I am on leave today. Biological clock has permanently set the mind to 7am now. Parah sebab Subuh prayer masih depends on alarm clock ok. What's more when it comes to tahajjud. Memang harus alarm clock tu diset untuk repeat every 5 mins.

I was supposed to sit for an exam this morning...but the heart & mind didn't feel like going. Because I've decided to not go...off I went back to dreamland. 2 hours later...I was all awake. Took my shower...berdandan ala pink only to match the new pink handbag. Breakfast with mother at the Java stall in Damai.

Alkisah walau bercuti...tetap hadir diri ke cafe. Collection kena record since Bungsu ada football match this evening.

And I have just found out how brilliant cik Err is. Read this.

Friend #1: Ko bilang ada new blog...mana tu url.

Moi: Oo lupa kestau. Ni nah bah. *giving her the url*

Friend #2: Bah mana url blog baru...saya mau follow. Blog ko lagi 1 bersarang sudah.

Moi: Ya kan lupa...bah ni nah.

Friend #3: Uit...url blog.

Moi: Adeii lupa...ni nah.

And few minutes later..

Friend #1 & #2 & #3: Mana boleh buka tu..bilang public can view. Yg tu invited readers jak.

Moi: Oo ya ka. Jap sy cek.

............few seconds after...........

Moi: Ahaks..sorry tu ari sy kesiokan create new blog so dlm proses mo adjust sy kasi viewable only to author. 1 month sudah sy buat entries, rupanya sy jak SS baca sendiri. It's still under viewable to author setting.

Friends: Buduh palui kan kalau ko.

Moi: Ok lah right away sy kasi public.

Friends: Bah capat.

Super brilliant right? I told u. I procrastinate...and in the end, I tend to forget about it.

But will only published it to public tomorrow. And harus ingat untuk thread the bffs. Nanti c Madam Laura mengaus.

My Friday started blissfully...

I woke up early. No traffic congestion to workplace. Alhamdulillah.

The air at the cafe pun sangat breezy & calming. Effect from yesterday's pouring I guess. Everything seems so perfect. Came afternoon, the peacefulness air finally polluted by some bloody brilliant group of people.

phew...I wouldn't say this "Kalau bukan ni tempat cari duit, lama suda aku terkam dia" nor this "Mau aku mengamuk bah tapi fikir juga tempat tu ramai orang" for I know IF the situation occurred elsewhere than my workplace or some place yang ndak ramai orang, I will still react the same.

And I don't think I need to explain to u why I didn't 'eat' them. Walking away from any argument doesn't mean u lose. Instead it shows ur level of patience & ur personality. Wahh kunun aku tadi apalah...berkarisma? Hancur!

But seriously, orang yang marah & cakap ndak ketentuan adakah timing dia buka telinga & listen to what we say? I apologized few times but tu pun ndak bagi dia apa makna. Hence I chose to stop the chaos by walking away. And keep my mouth shut. Bertekak sama orang separuh sedar won't make me look better than one. Adios gitu.

Hmmm...unsangkarable, educated people macam tu boleh buat standardization dalam hal mau respect orang. Like hello...perlukah zaman sekarang ni tinguk level of edu orang? Cari kerja pun orang tinguk experiences ok. What's more when it comes to respecting one as a human being.

Aduilah manusia, cepat betul lupa diri. Baru menapak naik menara gading; belum tau sampai puncak ka ndak tapi sudah ajar diri judge orang guna kepala lutut.

Oklah enough with the lepas geram already. Hari Jumaat adalah ndak baik merungut & cakap merapu. Basahkan lidah dengan zikrullah cik Err...load the mind with good thoughts. Only then will I get to free my mind from anxiety & mental stress.

Insya Allah...all in good times.

Subhanallah...praise be to Allah the Almighty.

Tadi order pink handbag online...made the payment during lunch. An hour later, it was delivered at my doorstep. Kesukaan ndak payah cakap. Thanks Allah untuk rasa ini.

On the way back from workplace, witnessed a miracle on the sky. Double rainbow it was. Gila rasa terkedu sekejap...but too bad I didn't get to capture that. Kereta berbaris di atas jalan, haruslah safety first kan.

And when I reached home, matahari adalah superbly amazing. I was mesmerized. The rays, the light...all are perfect. Menitis airmata menyaksikan keindahan ciptaan Nya.


Maha Suci Allah.

Sila tahu...untuk dapat pic ni, harus aku lari ala cute pas parked Miss Kens. Grabbed the Blackie from my room, rushed to the block yang boleh dapat view ni. Ngeh~~semangat ok.