23 January 2011

Memang hati aku sakit!

Bolehkah rasa macam mau muntahkan larva?
Fikiran belum stabil since yesterday
Although aku cuba sehabis baik untuk telan
Tapi pahit kali ini betul2 koyakkan kerongkong

Semua yang kompleks sudah tidak mahu aku singgah lagi
Aku sudah bakar & abunya sudah lama aku hanyutkan ke laut
Jalan yang penuh gelap sudah berjaya aku went through
Alhamdullilah...I managed to endure everything with His Guidance, Love & Mercy.

Sekarang, entah di mana silap
Kau muncul out of no where
Tujuan utama kononnya untuk mahu aku tahu
Permusuhan tidak pernah jadi niat kau

Iya...itu aku tahu
Itu aku maklum
Permusuhan kau & aku
memang tidak pernah aku tulis dalam kamus hidup aku

Sejarah kita sudah aku lipat kemas
Sudah aku simpan dalam peti
Tidak mahu aku buka lagi
Because I had enough with all the humiliations
And lies, and hopes
Aku tidak mahu terus2an jadi the person to be blame at

Pelik kenapa bila aku sudah selesa di fasa ini
Bila aku sudah move on with my life
Kau tiba untuk jernihkan keadaan
yang aku tidak tahu masihkah keruh itu wujud

Aku walk away dari yang kusut itu
Kerana aku tidak mahu sesakkan otak yang sedia serabut
Kau & dia enjoyed ikatan yang punya sakit & stress
Aku tidak mahu jadi part of it
dan aku tidak suka dijadikan igniter apa jua sekalipun

Rimas & lemas diulit kisah kamu berdua yang tidak pernah mahu lurus
Yang tidak pernah mahu admit realiti kehidupan
Hadirnya kau kali ini
Sekali lagi untuk drag aku dalam lembah kusut kamu

Apa perlu aku dilabel SOURCE
When the truth is aku adalah VICTIM?

Kalau kau dengan bangga & sinis boleh berkata
"Apa hak kau halang aku dari baca blog ini"

Maybe kau lupa
Aku juga dengan senyuman manis bak madu boleh berbahasa
"Apa hak kau untuk kawal what I should & shouldn't write here"

**************************************************
This is my blog. I can bloody write whatever I want. Freedom of writing. But worries not, aku ada guidelines aku sendiri. Never will I mentioned name(s) regardless how fervent the flame in my chest may be. Aku masih tahu sensitiviti. Aku tahu jaga nama baik orang walau aku; pernah dia malukan di khalayak.

Wahai arjuna, aku minta kau usaikan semua TANPA aku dilibatkan. Jangan kerana rasa sayang yang aku ada...u took advantage. Bila stress ganggu jiwa, u chose me to carry all the blames. I guess having a relationship with a psychosis for too long has turn u into one as well. Or worst! Penyakit hati dia makin kronik & obviously u can't handle it anymore.

Lantas jalan akhir...u turned to me & vomited everything onto my face. Why not face the reality together? And stop cari subjek untuk tampung semua yang busuk itu? I have my own problems & things to deal myself...hence I've got no extra time to entertain ur drama. Aku tidak mahu jadi pemain dalam game itu lagi. Enough is enough.

Arjuna, sila jadi jantan perkasa. Make up ur mind. And grow up. Stop the juvenile acting already. Life is too short to be wasted just like that. What's more when u spend it thinking about all the tenses & stresses. Balance out what ur heart & brain say. Kalau terusan ikut ugutan, haru hidup! Face the reality...never run from it. Settle semua before things get worst.

Arjuni, sila bersyukur. Of all woman, he picked u. Regardless how ridiculous u could be MOST of the times. Stop the insecure & inferior being! If he chose u, it means trust & loyalty came in package. Learn more about rules of relationship...and sila quit dari perasan melancholic. And oh, please stop ur wild imagination. Like, now! Orang bilang, apa yang kau selalu fikir tu boleh jadi kenyataan. Nanti betul2 jadi, baru kau nangis darah tiada berlagu sana. Haru!

I demand space for myself. And kehadiran anda berdua untuk kacau mood amatlah tidak disenangi. Sila beredar. Sila jangan involve orang lain bila ada yang tidak kena dengan ur relationship. Sekian.

p/s Arjuni, if all this while kau sibukkan kepala & confidently think my post(s) related to lovey dovey, taman berbunga bla bla...are referring to ur Arjuna; sorry to disappoint u anyway. But worry not, this post memang written purely from my heart JUST FOR U. And please remember, ur Arjuna wasn't the only man from my past. Therefore when I say my ex, sila jangan syok sendiri buat assumption that I was talking about ur man! It's time to act ur age! Jangan cepat melatah.

x0x0
hugs*kisses

14 hollered!:

Ibu Akidd said...

B . rilex.... ignore je org sebegitu!

You know ur self better... okies!

XOXO

BibiEr Karim said...

Aida, thanks. I wish them evaporate from my air. Hihihi kejam.

Btw, gigit Akidd for me. Dia semakin besar ok.

X0X0

isabelle said...

betul tu...blog kita, sukati la kita mau tulis apa. dia nak, dia buat blog sendiri la.
relax bie

in THE name OF the WHO said...

correct!!!!!

BibiEr Karim said...

@Belle: Aku geram tahap cipan. Agak lmbt respond & tunjuk yg aku bukan naif sgt smpi sume pun aku ye-kan aje. Ape aku tulis asal boleh nak kaitkan ngn diri sndr. Perasan dipersalah betul. Aku xtanam cili utk dia makan. Huhuhu. Ok arini mood da ceria.

@Grunge: Harap jgn lg sy kena kasi jd tong sampah dorg if anything happened nextime. Sigh

PAMELLA said...

ARJUNI U R KIDDING URSELF IF U THINK UR ARJUNA IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY FRIEND.....SHAME ON U UGLY BEAST

"STUPID PEOPLE DO STUPID THINGS...'

LOLA said...

Dear Arjuni & Arjuna,

YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE, SO FUCK OFF & LEAVE HER OUT OF UR SAD PATHETIC BORING LIVES.

BibiEr Karim said...

@Lola: U have always lend me ur back. And I very much appreciated that. Arjuni might probably think I'm strong bcoz of u ladies...yet the truth is dia blum dapat rupa 'sarang' yg dia jolok. Lol

@Pamella: I guess this time mmg kita ditch for life. Now that I figured Arjuna isn't worth fighting for, I'll be fine if I were to be cast out frm the list. Pity psychostic lass.

L said...

BITCH KNOW THIS, LAST WARNING TO FUCK OFF....

BibiEr Karim said...

@L: If Arjuni tends to visit/complain/imagine in the future; let us rebus dia.

Milo said...

oh my gosh, apa lagi c anu tu mau ni?? punya lucu. orang diam2, dia pula sot2 mau cari pasal. haishhhhh. whatever la with their relationship. punya HUGE MAU MATI trust issue dorang tu. sampai sanggup jadi saiko. hmmmmmm. get a life la. read a book. kacau ja. orang mau siok2 enjoy life pun tekacau. ngongos. karipap! wakakakak *mode sot*

Anonymous said...

GR said.....

YA BAH!!
GO READ A GOOD BOOK
But wait a minute
The psycho bitch won't read a book since she's reading this blog and goes mental after reading..
PITY YOU!!!!!!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

BibiEr Karim said...

@Mel: Sot sbb xda suda benda lain dia can afford to do nor think. As if hidup sy ONLY revolves around theirs. Sakit hati. Am ok suda skg hope dorg xdtg kacau lg la. Or else, Lala jadi hulk trus!

BibiEr Karim said...

@GR: Perhpas, this blog is her only good 'book' to read. Sian deh mbak itu.

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