Three Big Zero...what's the big deal?

How did I enjoyed myself today?

To conclude everything...I had a blast fabulous gontua day! Not that I celebrated gila²...kek berbiji². But I was overwhelmed with the thoughts from people around me. Text(s) & phone call(s) still flooding in. What else should I ask for to make it more meaningful?

Syukran ya Allah kerana peluang ini. Age has increase but I chose to grow young at heart. Well at least I don't deny the fact that I'll be approaching the big three zero in 2 years time. It's just number after all...no big deal. Umur banyak pun kalau amalan takuk tu ja...no use juga. Ara?

On this special day, I took a half day leave from work. Went back home & took my shower. Wangi² dulu before jumpa Fuchy for the 1st time. Jumpa ja ok bukan pigi menjemput bawa balik rumah. She's still in the gallery though...need to settle few paper works before I could officially say she's mine. Haru & sebak dada upon getting in her...ntah berapa kali aku usap interior & exterior minah tu. Nasiblah salesman tu ndak nampak. Rosak jiwa tau lama² meninguk dia...lagi rosak wondering when will the time be.

Fuchy is superbly gorgeous & elegant. I fall in love with everything about her. Specially the flowery decorations on her mp3 player & arm rests. But of course aku jathuh chenta sama colour body nya. Cair biji mata! So far I've seen 3 of her sisters on the road...wearing the letter of B & C on their plate numbers. Patient I shall be for I personally want to wait for the letter E. Literally its 4 months of mind torturing.

Went out with mother...dinner @KR & later catched the 930pm show; Garam. It's another great movie from Ms. Jolie. I indeed enjoyed myself. Eyes were glued at the screen the whole 2hours 30 minutes play. And based on its ending, I assume there will be sequel coming soon. My rating? It's 4 over 5. I like the action parts...although there were few plots which are rather predictable. I could tell who's the bad guys from the beginning as well.

But that doesn't mean I need good movies to watch in order to balance Salt's weaknesses. Like I always end up doing after watching devastating Malay flicks. Salt masih dalam kelompok worth watching; in terms of time & money.

Also sekarang ni ndak kesabaran mau meninguk The Last Airbender. Kind of film I super love watching. J.K Rowling's masterpiece; Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows will be on screen in 2 parts; 1 will be in Nov this year & the other will be in July next year. Gila lah ni punya lama gap. Berliuran lah ni nanti tunggu ending.

Ohoo the other day I watched Inception. Memang sangat best! It indeed was the greatest mind-twisting flick I have ever watched. Apart from Shutter Island this is also another what I called mind challenger movie; by LD. I like story that make the brain works. More hormone stimulated means the brain's processor is in good condition. Biar pening macam mau muntah hijau menafsir setiap scene janji puas atas keterujaan yang berlaku.

It's 1am now...gotta stop typing already. Not hitting the sack yet because I bloody feel the urge to watched at least 1 or 2 discs from the Kdrama set I bought just now. Prince Hours it is. Macam biasa, akan tinguk disc 1 & 2. Then will wrap the night off with the last disc. Barulah ndak keruan...while watching Salt just now, macam vibrate jak kotak PH dalam hbag aku. Mau disuruh tinguk cepat kan. Ahaks.

Jangan bazirkan masa menumpukan pada benda yang tidak mampu dibuat...sebaiknya, tumpukan masa pada sesuatu yang mampu dilaksanakan. Memaksa diri itu tidak baik.

Colorful life

Woot woot...uncanny mood greeted me early in the morning. Been trying my very best to hold on. Everything was so frustrating I couldn't help but to whine. Ohoo alasan yang hanya layak dicakap logik oleh sang kambing.

2 of my staffs are on sick leave today. So basically we kinda short of manpower. And to make thing worst, I have accepted a catering order. Things at the cafe were beyond control. I can't even think straight let alone decide wisely.

Almost lost my temper towards the student who ordered the catering from us. I just can't bear their poor time management. Like; ugh big time!

But come to think of it, memang malas mau bising or membebel. I shall be grateful instead of complaining. Esok lusa kalau Dia tarik balik semua ni...jadilah kau sudah terhantuk baru terngadah, kan cik Err. Dikasi rezeki murah pun mulut masih pot pet macam popcorn.

Problems are thrown to make me learn the way to search for solutions. Griping nor whining won't solve anything. It can ease ur anger but everyone knows that will not last long. U'll be back to being grumpy again once u return to the real world. Because u will eventually sees that none of the curse or swear words resolve ur problems. Therefore, instead of throwing tantrum I chose to settle the problem asap. As to avoid confusion & further complexity.

Anyways, Laura came to rescue the vulnerable me in the afternoon. She helped me out at the chicken rice lot. And because this time she wore proper attire so gue benarkan dia jadi pembantu belakang tabir. Laku terus nasi ayam gara² orang lawa tapi aku lagi cantik sinduk nasi. She also lend her hands with the hi-tea for catering. Dedicated assistant betul kakak besar tu. I love u sista!

Ada bukti terang benderang dia sayang aku, kunci kereta aku dia tapau balik rumah. Jadi tinggal lah aku dekat 1 hour + di cafe waiting for mother to fetch me up. I left the car at the cafe. Around 8-ish Laura came to my house & sent me to UMS* to get my car. We hanged out at City Mall after that. Together with Maya & Girly. After a light supper at Olde Kopitiam we called the night; off. Lagi pula Maya sudah membawa balik...karang bertambah list lagu dia nyanyi sambil menari. Ndak pasal² kedai tu ndak jadi tutup nanti.

Hidup ini penuh warna warni...bukan hitam & putih sahaja. Nikmati semua dengan penuh redha & syukur.

Jiwa ada taman kah?

My deepest condolence to the family of my ex high school friend; Fuad Ahmad. We're not close during high school. We didn't belong to the same clique. In fact, I can't remember ever talking to him. Still, I was shocked upon hearing the news from a friend yesterday.

Jatuh pada jarak 10m at a highway somewhere in Ampang while on his way to work. Bayangkan betapa jarak tu punya banyak makna untuk nyawa seseorang. According to the news I read online, he lost control of his bike & hit the embankment. More stories here.

Most of his close friends are still in shock. Tapi itulah namanya kematian. When the time has arrives, no one will be able stop it. Janji Allah itu benar...that's why we're ask to remind ourselves about death all the time. Supaya ndak leka...supaya ndak kelupaan...supaya ndak kejutan kalau tiba² Izrail datang bagi salam.

Nauzubillah...rasa macam belum cukup puas hidup di dunia. Hidup lama² kalau amalan di takuk lama pun ndak guna cik Err. And worst, amalan makin berkurang tapi dosa makin membukit. The intention to repent never cease tapi buatnya ntah lah bila. Asyik melekat sama sikap penangguh...kesukaan sudah kan jadi si tukang tangguh.

Aduyai bila lah agaknya mau berubah ni...

Today marks the 1sy day of menstruum. My prediction was right. After mother & Grunge's turn...mine will be next. They are my indicators when it comes to menses. I've been feeling weirdly happy since this morning. Weird because I don't know what cause the happiness. Whatever it is, I thank Allah for this blissfulness.

I feel whole. Hati macam penuh dengan bunga & wangian segar. At first I thought it might cause by the fluctuated hormone. Macam pelik sebab tiba² rasa gitu. Then Mel & Grunge text me...telling me to just embrace the feeling. Mel also said I am happy maybe because the body stimulated excess hormone. Jadinya harus hayati nikmat perasaan yang Dia bagi sekarang. Manatau esok lusa tiada kesempatan sudah kan.

Biarlah...yang penting semua baik² saja. Insya Allah. Dia sentiasa ada bila aku mahu mengadu domba...untuk apa aku risaukan perkara remeh di dunia ini.

Fuchy..idamanku selalu *tiba2*

My weekend ended blissfully. I couldn't ask for more from the Lord. Praise be to Allah the Almighty for the happiness & contentment He bestowed upon me. I am sure now that I must have done something real good to be having this feeling.

But will never lose control of my life as felicity is some form of a trial too. Manusia selalu lupa Dia bila bahagia tiba...pasal tu aku cakap gembira itu pun ujian. Ara?

My heartiest thanks to the PPGs & Posers for celebrating my becoming gontua day. Thank u Laura for remembering although I know u're pretty bad with dates. Thank u for the cake. And paling penting, makaseh atas surprise itu. I am truly flattered up to this moment.

Jess & Keegy's pre-wed photo shoot was a blast. Laura did a great job with the couple. And we did great job in colouring their moments as well. Ya, harus masuk lif tekan naik sendiri sebab malas tunggu orang memuji. Therefore puji diri sendiri adalah cara paling best. Sekian.

Anyways, the 'talur' incident injected by Laura was also the highlight for the weekend.

Apart from the photo shoot of course. We're now waiting for the hasil(s) from Laura; who is representing Linawa Photography. Kalau hasil dari aku & Syl tu memang ada...senantiasa. Kan jadi penyibuk c Laura. I will update some of the pics later...the connection here at the cafe is a bit frustrating. Dari tadi malar aku disconnect. So much for a #1 broadbandung in Malaysia, right Celcom?

On another story...contemplating is what I've been bothering the brain for the past few weeks. Truth to be told, sejak Gen2 keluar di pasaran, aku adalah kegilaan & fan #1 that car. I've been dreaming of driving my own ever since Eda got hers. Belum kecukupan ongkos, Kens jak mampu dikasi keluar. Tu pun ada bantuan sang Ibunda after aku resigned from the previous company.

Then keperluan kemahuan untuk ada another car tiba² meletus. 2 cars are never enough if there's 3 adults in the house. Ya padahal orang lain yang ada 6-7 orang dalam 1 rumah relak jak naik turun bas kan. Cakap jak la kau tu action berlakon ndak pandai & rasa ndak selesa naik bas konon. Ok yang tu nanti kita cerita belakang tabir ah. Buka aib sendiri nampak cik Err ni tau.

Few months back a friend of mine; Mommy Leny suggested me the new Saga. Less commitment than Gen2. It also triggers less headache when it comes to monthly instalment. The only thing yang buat aku ni tarik tali is the fact that I dislike sedan car. I'm looking for a car that has sexy butt bum just like Gen2. As much as I kind of fascinated by the fact that Saga has quite a big rear compartment tapi kerana ia adalah sedan therefore excitement aku lenyap terus. Aku mau cari bonet besar sebab aku suka buat stor sendiri dalam kereta. Boleh simpan rak kasut ok.

Remember sometime last month, I sent Kens to the service centre? The time when I have to left her there for nearly a week just to get her compressor installed & air-conditioner fixed. Masa tu juga lah aku TERnampak 'seorang wanita berkulit warna Fuchsia' parked nicely in front of the main door. Because I was in a rush to work & it was drizzling I didn't get to go out to do more observation on her.

But Ijal & Laura have finally put my contemplation to an end this evening. Membakar betul tu statement dorang pasal the latest Myvi Limited Edition. I guess asking for Ijal's opinion was the right thing. Gila mamat tu kasi up segala point Perodua*. Kalau bukan sebab kes Kens aku memang ndak kan banned Perodua*. And this time sebab the color aku tarik balik la benci sementara aku tu.

IF I don't have any bills to pay every month's end...IF I don't have so many places to go in my wish list...IF I don't have too big an impulsive urge for shopping...I would have opted for Gen2 without having to have 2^nd thought of buying it. Hence, in order to balance my cash flow I decided to choose Fuchy instead.

Wah aku sudah ada nama untuk dia. Ndak rugi ok sebab exterior design adalah tip top. And please don't make me brag about the interior here. Nanti ada yang nangis airmata hijau baca ayat aku. Because I love DQ-ing myself...jadi harus lah aku akan exaggerate fakta. I tend to be extra melancholy whenever I'm amused or excited.

Ok tu sikit gambaran of Fuchy. It's designed specifically for girls! So aku ni kira menyahut seruan Perodua* lah. Fuchy's value is still in my range of affordability. I guess my decision to buy it is wise. Lets pray the bank will be kind enough to approve my loan.

Tiada yang lebih bahagia dari mendapat rahmat & hidayah Mu ya Allah. Juga kesihatan yang baik. Terima kasih di atas rezeki yang Kau berikan. Alhamdulillah.

Biru itu blue

Monday blues anyone? Glad and proud to say that I no longer bother about it. I've been trying to not pay any mind to that issue...and so far I succeeded.

Kundasang trip was totally a recharging moments for me. I had 1 blast of a weekend up there. Will blog about it in my next post. *mode: I'm in rush to update*

Nothing much happened at the cafe today. But early this morning, 1 statement berani mati from dearest Farah blew me out of the water. She said I look plumper. I don't know what reason to deny her remark so I blamed the shawl I was wearing. Also the tshirt. Maybe it has shrank. Woot woot...could u sense the denial hormone in cik Err's system?

Food I consumed over the weekend was too much. Fact about me that u should know...it's so easy for me to gain weight rather than to lose it. I can skip eating for years but will only lose 2kg the most. But if I munched for like 2 hours non stop, I will end up gaining 5kg the least. Try me. That's why I am so eager to turn my "No Rice For a Year" mission into realization. When Laura was still in the UK, I was already halfway completing the mission.

And failure slowly begins peeping me the moment she touched her feet upon KK's land. No don't get me wrong, rice is still strictly prohibited in the meal. But the amount of food that I take has mounted...hence explained the fullness of figure. Gah...poyo gaban.

By the way, I'm going to watch Inception with mother in a bit. Mother has watched it with Sofea yesterday. But since she has promised to watch it with me, she will be tagging along for tonight's 0915 show. Grunge needs wants my rating before watching the movie with Rio. If the movie managed to satisfy the grumpy & fussy me; she'll consider watching it then.

I have the feeling that I'm so gonna like this movie. Like; super love. I've got quite a numbers of great reviews about Inception so I really wish the hope won't let me down. After a week of craving to watch it, tonight akan jadi malam penentu. Ok harus bersiap segera!

Ilmu itu perlu dicari. Bukan sekadar diperolehi tapi juga harus diterokai.

Sengal SabtuDay

Ohooo...hari ni started sesengal yang boleh.

Was awoken to the sound of my phone. Bungsu called asking about the catering order for tomorrow evening. The phone rang prior to the alarm buzz. Weird things do occurred when the mind is unprepared to wake up.

Dalam separuh sedar...aku jalan ke dressing table which is just next to my bed. Every day upon waking up, combing the hair is among the 1st thing I will do. Apart from making up the bed. But not this morning. Ntah angin apa, suddenly the brain arah aku pakai jam tangan. And kunun ready to go to work lagi tu! APA KES?

Masuk bathroom...lagi kes pelik. Boleh pula aku lupa what color is my toothbrush. Ndak ka dongok tongol tu? I knocked my head...just to let the brain knows that tuan badan sudah bangun & that it has to start functioning already. I screamed at mother whom is at her room. Ask her what's her TB's color since we used the same brand of TB.

Finished my bathe...then it's time to get ready to work. Buat aksi bongok lagi sekali. I brilliantly wear the undergarment a.k.a seluar katak super cool otherwise. Ok boleh ka guna adverb gitu in such sentence? Lantak. Patut tiba² rasa macam ndak kemuatan. Rupanya kepintaran melanda di pagi hari.

And last bright action before I departed to cafe...aku turun menuju miss Kens without bringing the key. Jadi kunun macam mana mau buka kereta tu tanpa kunci? Mother looked at me with Q written all over her face. Maybe she's wondering what's wrong with her super cute daughter.

Ndak kan aku excited mau pigi Kundasang after work this afternoon. Adui memang drama kan kalau kau cik Err. Ndak kehabisan tu film kalau kau yang shooting.

Anyways, I hope we'll have a safe trip. Selamat pigi Kundasang & selamat balik KK. Insya Allah. Amin. I am so gonna enjoyed myself tonight. To untangle the tangling nerves. Destress the tenseness. Duh as if kau tu berabis stress. Padahal memang ke sana untuk menyibukkan diri pre-wed shot Jess & Kegan. Choii.

Hati yang kacau akan segera tenang & damai andai tahu mensyukuri nikmat Nya yang ada di sekeliling kita. Alam ini cukup luas...dipenuhi dengan rahmat dari Nya yang tidak terkira. Keluar lah dari rumah...peroleh ilmu & ketenangan dari alam ciptaan Nya.

Alkisah

Woot woot...I missed updating yesterday. Apa kes lupa update for a day pun mau kecoh. Well, because I've made a promise to myself that I will try the best I could to update this blog on daily basis...so haruslah ada rasa bersalah sama diri.

Menulis dalam blog ini untuk renungan aku di masa depan. Even no one reads it...I will still continue writing. Esok lusa Nanti ada anak cucu, I'm gonna force them to read this blog. 1 entry per day so dorang dapat tau siapakah cik Err ini. Poyo gaban. Who knows 1 day I might lost my memory...hence this site will become of useful at that time.

Laura came to the cafe yesterday. She has become a successful salesgirl nowadays. NOT. Ok bersedia untuk dicekik. She came over to pass me that thing on the pic below. Bukan sebarang box ok because itu adalah produk Elken. A box filled with 20 sachets of 5 in 1 Premix Instant Coffee with Ginseng & Ginkgo Biloba Extract. Whoop, seems that I'm the 1 who sounded like a salesgirl now. Sorry La, potong line kau.

The decaf coffee that she I bought for myself.

I think I should do something to get rid of miss Migraine's frequent visit. The excess amount of coffee that I consumed daily has thrown HUGE impact to my body system. I really want to detach my system from illness. Tu pasal mau cari coffee yang macam ni...

Aku tahu sakit tu Allah bagi sebagai ujian...tapi Allah juga suruh kita jaga kesihatan. Also suruh kita cari penawar. At least ada usaha so bila sakit ndak lah aku bongok² blame myself for not being able to keep the body fit. Arasso?

This morning I woke up with the head aching. I overslept. Sebab ramainya orang di cafe kelmarin, aku adalah kepenatan gaban. Hit the sack at 7pm after reciting Y. Woke up at 11pm to perform my IsPra & resumed my sleep right after. 2 of the staffs didn't show up, lack of manpower therefore I have to go out of the office & derma tenaga. I put myself at the fried chic rice stall. Gila gaban penat. Students didn't stop coming from 9am. I only get to rest a bit by 2pm. Kalau kira jarak aku bergerak dalam lingkungan stall tu jak, sampai sudah aku di KK dari UMS*.

I was totally exhausted. Laura said the same thing just by looking at my expression. Not to mention, my oily face! Boleh goreng ikan sudah gitu. Syukran, banyak pendapatan aku jual nasi ayam. Wakakakakak walau dengan muka nan masam sebab panas. Like hello! I have to stand in front of a heater for hours...how could I not have that sullen expression.

Something happened at the office this morning and for that I would want to praise the Lord above. I'm truly blessed. Du'a that I recite every day without fail...memang ndak sia². Dia yang Maha Mendengar. Apa lagi perlu aku ragui pada Kebesaran & Keagungan Nya.

Alhamdulillah...alhamdulillah...alhamdulillah. Di pagi Jumaat yang mulia, I was spared from a life threatening incident. NO...I ain't DQing myself here. Even if it happened, regret will never cross my mind for I know thing happened for a reason. Mesti ada hikmah di sebaliknya. And I don't take it as good luck or just a mere coincident...Allah has plan for all of His slaves. I guess I must have done something good to be able to receive such bestowment from Him. Good karma embraced my life on Friday morning...what more could I ask for.

“Maka apabila manusia ditimpa bencana dia menyeru Kami, kemudian apabila Kami berikan nikmat Kami kepadanya, dia berkata, "Sesungguhnya aku diberi nikmat ini hanyalah kerana kepintaranku". Sebenarnya, itu adalah ujian, tetapi kebanyakan mereka tidak mengetahuinya” - ( Az-Zumar:49)

Many things happened lately...ada yang buat empangan airmata aku pecah berkali². But never once will I ever give up to such trials for I know Allah won't test me with something I couldn't bear.

Patient will I be for it is the greatest weapon for those who is being tested by Allah the Almighty. Ujian itu seperti penyakit, tiba masa ia akan sembuh. Yang penting sabar & doa, jalan keluar pasti akan kelihatan.

Berhentilah memerangi orang, kerana kesibukan sebenar akan jatuh ke atas dirimu andai itu terjadi.

Oh oh oh...ugh

Migraine attack!

That best friend of mine decided to attack the system early this morning. While driving to workplace, the pain was quite awful I really think the head gonna explode. It's like I was carrying a big rock on my head. Super heavy & super ail. Nonetheless I praise Allah the Almighty for I arrived cafe in one piece.

Swallowed the pain killer & drowsed for a while. Woke up feeling a bit lighter. Batu besar sudah tiada...tapi kepala masih berdenyut. Specially around the area between the eyes. Up till now, the beating hasn't show any sign it's gonna lessen.

I know sakit gini didatangkan mainly to wipe out my venial sins. Insya Allah. Siapa yang bersih dari dosa, right? Nabi & Rasul jak golongan manusia yang lepas dari perhitungan dosa. Kechi? I don't know about what u have in mind, but aku memang tahu terlampau banyak dosa aku.

Ntah berapa berat sudah dosa aku yang ditulis oleh malaikat Atid & Raqid. I bet if my sins were to be put on the scale, the left pan would undoubtedly fall onto the ground. Mainly because the good deeds that I've accumulated during my life couldn't vanquish the bad ones.

Kalaulah tiba² nyawa ditarik saat ni, ntah apa lah nasib aku di alam sana. *Mode: Keinsafan gila lepas baca entri si TujuhKakiDalam* Harus muhasabah diri secepat mungkin. Wahailah cik Err, benda paling basic pun kau belum tertunaikan. Aurat tu belum semua ditutup. Tau pula kau takut...tau pula kau risau. Tapi ntah apa perubahan sudah kau buat, kan.

Wahai cik Err, ingat mutiara kata daripada Kereta Mayat. Semua orang akan jadi mayat, ‘Nabi’pun akan jadi mayat… dan sebaik baik mayat, adalah mayat yang bertaubat.

sigh sigh sigh mengeluh banyak kali pun mengundang murka Nya. Sebab si laknat paling gembira bila anak cucu Adam ni mengeluh. Jadinya bertaubat lah sebelum Izrail datang menghentikan nafas kau.

Ok sila ubah topik. Karang ndak pasal² orang cakap aku buang tabiat. Or worst, dicakap menunjuk alim. "Kubur masing², jadi sila peduli hal sendiri jak"? Hmm memang kubur lain², tapi bila Allah turunkan bala bukan kau sorang jak yang kena. Ndak pernah lagi jadi bila Dia turunkan banjir besar hanya tenggelamkan SEBUAH rumah or SEORANG manusia jak. Mesti banyak tempat & makhluk lain terlibat sama, arasso?

Anyways, I'll be meeting Pijut after MagPra later this evening. She's been here in KK for nearly a week already, attending some course related to her future job as a teacher. Yay after so many annulled plans...finally malam ni akan ketemu dia. I wonder how does she looks like...lepas 7 bulan bergelar isteri. Woot woot...punya saiko tu imagination.

And I would also like to take this opportunity *hello peluang apa kalau ini memang blog kau?*. That is to convey my heartiest congratulations to dear friend of mine; Ernie Khairina & her husband on the newest addition in their family. Baby Aariz @ Boy. Congrats to his aunties as well, Nurul & Adik. I can't wait to cuddle & bite him. Saw this lil bundle of joy at Nurul's blog. Sangat comel & aku adalah dengan rasmi girigitan. *sambil gigit lidah*

Biar seribu yang lari menjauh, tidak aku peduli selagi aku ada Dia. Jika Dia tinggalkan aku, apalah erti hidup ini.

Perasan Disalahkan by Hamka KeretaMayat

Loving the entry written by Hamka in his blog; Kereta Mayat.

Titled "Perasan Disalahkan - Part 1".

Reading through his writing blew relief into my soul. I like what he's trying to tell the world. What he thinks that might benefit & yield knowledge to other people.

I just couldn't agree more with what he says in that entry. Sangat bagus dijadikan nota untuk diri sendiri.

Among what he wrote...I immensely love this.

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Orang yang ada sifat ‘perasan disalahkan’ adalah terdiri daripada mereka yang otak slow, lembab, cepat merajuk dan mudah beremosi..

Mereka adalah tidak sesuai menjadi teman hidup atau sahabat pena, sebab nanti kelembapan otaknya akan berjangkit dengan kita dan kitapun jadi slow gak. Sebab Nabi dah pesan, kalau nak wangi, berkawanlah dengan penjual minyak wangi, dan kalau nak asap, berkawanlah dengan penjual arang; begitu lebih kurang..

Ciri-ciri orang yang ada sifat ‘perasan disalahkan’ adalah orang yang apabila ada teguran di buat secara umum, dia rasa macam orang yang menasihat tu tuju kat dia sorang, lalu dia pun melenting, marah, beremosi dan mula buat perkara bodoh.

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Therefore sah kau orang yang 'perasan disalahkan' kalau lepas baca entry ni kau mengamuk ndak tentu pasal, sakit hati membara & tiba² rasa ndak puas hati sama aku. Hmm kalau betul kau perasan disalahkan, sahlah teori Hamka orang macam kau memang otak slow, lembab, cepat merajuk dan mudah beremosi.

Jadi cik Err...jangan sampai kau dapat gelaran macam di atas. Buanglah tabiat perasan yang ndak bagus tu. Mudah beremosi...bagus ko padam lah tu slowly. Tapi kalau emosi sendiri² bukan berkaitan 'perasan disalahkan', itu kencana.

Tidak perlu sedih dengan perkara yang remeh. Kerana dunia & segala isinya sememangya remeh.

Sharing is Caring

Dalam sebuah riwayat menceritakan, pada suatu hari Luqman Al-Hakim telah masuk ke dalam pasar dengan menaiki seekor himar, manakala anaknya mengikut daripada belakang. Melihat tingkahlaku Luqman itu, setengah orang pun berkata;

“Lihat itu, orang tua yang tidak bertimbang rasa, sedangkan anaknya dibiarkan berjalan kaki”.

Setelah mendengar desas-desus daripada orang ramai, maka Luqman pun turun daripada himarnya itu lalu diletakkan anaknya di atas himar itu. Melihat yang demikian, maka orang di kawasan itu berkata pula;

“Lihat orang tuanya berjalan kaki sedangkan anaknya sedap menaiki himar itu, sungguh kurang adab anak itu”.

Sebaik saja mendengar kata-kata itu, Luqman pun terus naik ke atas belakang himar itu bersama-sama dengan anaknya. Kemudian orang ramai pula berkata lagi;

“Lihat itu, dua orang menaiki seekor himar, sungguh menyeksakan himar itu”.

Oleh kerana tidak suka mendengar percakapan orang, maka Luqman dan anaknya turun daripada himar itu, kemudian terdengar lagi suara orang berkata;

“Lihat, dua orang yang berjalan kaki, sedangkan himar itu tidak dikenderaikan, membazir”.

Dalam perjalanan ke rumah, Luqman Al-hakim telah menasihati anaknya tentang sikap manusia dan telatah mereka, katanya;

“Sesungguhnya TIADA SEORANG PUN TERLEPAS DARI PERCAKAPAN MANUSIA. Maka orang yang berakal tiadalah dia mengambil pertimbangan melainkan pertimbangan Allah s.w.t sahaja (pandangan manusia yang baik boleh diambil). Barangsiapa mengenali kebenaran, itulah yang menjadi pertimbangannya dalam tiap-tiap sesuatu”

Credit to Rosniza Abdullah

Yang penting...

GSC cinema hall at Suria Sabah is where I should be right now...accompanied by my fav 1901 while watching the 0845pm show. Semua tinggal angan² because I brilliantly opted for the negative vibe to spoil my pink mood.

Was on my way to the cinema when suddenly the brain commanded me to just return home; before things go beyond my control. I am positive I did the right thing & I do not regret for cancelling the plan. Nobody's joining me so I guess I didn't keep anyone waiting for me there. Inilah part best bila plan sendiri²...jadi or ndak, yang tanggung diri sendiri. No party involve...no hard feeling take place.

In my previous entry, I said I'm waiting for problem to solve. It's not that I long for bad things to happen, really. It's mainly for fun purpose since Aida said Inception is a mind twisting kind of flick. Well, fyi I did get my part too.

I left cafe around 5-ish this evening. Stuck in a slow traffic movement for about 30minutes. Just as I got myself freed from the slow traffic, the phone rang. Bungsu asked me to return to the office because 1 of the staffs left the office keys inside the office. Without the keys, Bungsu won't be able to close account for today's business. And the staffs can't access the store room. New stocks arrived minutes after I left & needed to be recorded, also to be put in the store.

Madness is not the situation I was in upon being told to return. Aware of the slow traffic I'll encounter if I turn back, I told Bungsu I might be there a bit late. Much to my surprise, I reached office in less than 10 minutes. Sempat take away McD at their drive-thru counter lagi.

Oh my, what bliss Monday evening I had. Thing happened for a reason...there must be something on why I have to reach home a lil late than usual today. Bila kita redha semua akan jadi baik² jak. Alhamdulillah. Because I didn't whine nor let the anger burst, thing went smoothly although I took nearly 2 hours just to arrive home.

Grunge, here's the story on why I was late just now. U didn't hear my drama because I don't see the need to be mad. Thanks for the cd(s) by the way. I'd just finished watching The Memory Keeper's Daughter. And I cried while watching it. Hmm bet it's not a new thing for u already.

Assassination of a High School President is next in line. That is after I publish this entry & perform my IsPra. Will see u guys tomorrow, insya Allah.

Cinta perlu dalam diri tapi jangan sampai cinta itu mengganas & mengalir tidak di laluan yang benar.

My oh my...

Sedang dalam mood bingung. Kepala pusing. Jiwa kacau. Dada sesak. Macam mau muntahkan segala isi hati tapi macam malas pula poyo² meluahkan. Macamlah benda tu betul² affect hidup aku. Macam jak aku lah kunun orang paling ndak ketentuan di saat ini.

Oh my...bertuahnya masih diberi peluang untuk bernafas ok. Iboh gago gilak cik Err. *tiba² kelaka Sarawak* It's not the end of the world pun. Mun kitak allow benda ya control the mind...confirm ya akan menang. Everything depends on me; after all.

Worry not, I am capable of freezing certain moments. Also in ignoring stuffs. Kalau rasa sudah ndak tertampung sakit di dada...I will divert my attention into something else & start recharge diri. Gaining back the energy to battle.

Tonight I'm going to the cinema to watch Inception. Thanks to Aida Perempuan Merah Jambu; for ur review about the movie. I'll make sure I bring along my purse as to avoid repeating ur case. Ngeh~~ tapi cute juga buat macam tu once in a pink blue moon. Aku pun mau tunggu what kind of problem will I have to solve prior watching the mind-blowing movie.

And oh...since I've completed watching all the Kdrama series & Kmovies Jess lent me, I have to start searching for new ones. In order to satisfy my hunger for good dramas & movies. Grunge has few in her collection so I might be dropping by at her place after work this evening. She's at home taking care of Rio; who is currently sick. Member demam lepas kena hujan. Harap cepatlah kau sihat Rio...nanti tiada driver kami pigi Kundasang this weekend. Maya's not well too. I hope her fever will subside soon. I guess she's still in shock bitten by Bonnie...tau jak la budak kan. Choi macam aku ni suda ada anak.

What? Say again? Kundasang? Yes...will be going up there with the ladies this weekend. Untuk unstressed the tangling mind. Konon!

Jangan main dengan bara api andai diri takut terbakar...

Mantra what?

It's been raining cats & dogs since evening in KK. I super love the breezy air. Bersih bumi KK hari ini. Alhamdulillah.

This morning I had breakfast at Wan Wan Restaurant in Bundusan; with mother & Bungsu's. Perut kenyang suka hati sebab sup ikan sana memang superb sedap. Headed to a workshop nearby to fix Ken's meter indicator right after breakfast.

Later to Wisma Merdeka. Ken's needed a bathe. I bought a pair of black pumps; which I've been wanting to buy since forever. It's a blink² studded pumps by the way. Suka sebab kaki ndak membengkok bila pakai. Pasal tu aku beli because most of the pumps yang aku try & nampak cantik di mata before ni; tend to bring up the 'persona' of my ugly feet. It's definitely my luck to be able to add another set in my footwear collection at home. I didn't plan to shop today but I just can't resist the urge to buy upon seeing the pumps fit perfectly into my not so pretty dark feet.

Budget for this month is a bit tight. I need to be strict with myself from now on or else I will probably say goodbye to my holiday plans in 2011. I always know I have great skill in financial management. Akan jadi extra stingy towards diri sendiri lepas ni.

The family in Kolumpur will be back this Dec. Harus akan ada plan cuti² with family during that time. Imagine kalau join family gathering sekangkang kera dengan poket kosong jak...sudah lah aku the eldest one, sungguh kemaluan besar di situ. As the eldest among the cousins, I surely need to contribute more than the others right. Walau bukan dari segi duit, but if mau beli barang for sure duit perlu ada juga untuk membeli. Arachii?

I need to sleep early tonight. Will hit the sack soon after I finish watching a Thai horror film with mother. Ada potato couching session with her tonight. Ni penangan gara² meninguk Mantra petang tadi. Serious shit...I need to watch some good flicks to balance ketidaksyiokan cerita itu. Fully unsatisfied with the movie. I don't know why I love giving high expectation towards our film. sigh sigh sigh

Nyata hanya Dia yang tidak pernah menghampakan aku.

Unjustified insanity

IF it's not because of Maya Linawa Graham...I wouldn't be at GSC 1B last night to watch Despicable Me. Maya's mommy kind of enjoying herself threatening Aunty Pisang lately. So not good Laura. Impian to drag Grunge & Rio to watch Mantra failed as well. Betul² c Laura guna kuasa veto pandangan mata tahap gaban DASAR dia.

Little Missy; the REASON why I chose to swallow her mommy's menace

Cartoon & cik Err just don't sync together. Except for Sin Chan tapi tu pun aku pilih episod ok. And please take note, I don't favor the idea of going to the cinema just to watch cartoon. Last time I watched Shrek with friends; not because I want to watch it...but it's about the quality time spent with them that made me surrender with their invitation. Or maybe I miss 'Princess Fiona' so badly I wanna watch her berulang kali. NOT!

Regardless feeling partly forced, I enjoyed the movie. So did Maya & the kakak besar. I love seeing Maya in happy mood & love more when she sulks. Cute tinguk tu budak kicil mengaus (merajuk) sebab ndak disuruh pigi Boo Boo Land. And she mutters! Punya aku rasa mau tarik lips dia & gigit sampai luka biru.

It was a bit boring at the cafe today. Although number of students coming are increasing...I sort of feel something missing. Like; something invaded my chest & create a huge hole on it's wall. I've been having this numb feeling quite frequent lately. And I have yet to find the answer for this. Perhaps, the mind has been thinking rather hard these few days. Over unimportant things it is.

sigh I haven't let go that part of melancholy me apparently. Thinking over stuffs that bring insignificant effect to my life is obviously sick. Kasi penat otak & diri. Memang kau suka cari penyakit bah kan wahai perempuan yang baru dapat shawls baru hasil pembelian online.

Anyways, tonight plan is to just stay at home. Kens was released from the service center this evening, finally. After a week being Kens-less. The compressor has been installed; the aircond has been serviced. And the honk has been fixed. Also the D indicator on the meter board. Syukran.

Tomorrow mother & I will take her to Wisma...harus mandi dara pingitan tu. Mau pigi menjenguk Gaya St. market as well. Macam lama betul ndak mencemar kaki di sana. Lagi ada barang cafe mau dibeli. Sekali harung la kunun ni.

Terima kasih Ya Allah atas hidup ini. Aku mohon redha Mu & berkat Mu.

Yoyo-ing

Macam mau terburai isi perut bila tengok level of immaturity someone. How downcast it could be when weak brain is given the authority to shape it.

I wasn't surprise actually. Because I've long expected that is the highest level of intelligence that u could ever achieved. The only thing that shocked me is the part where u being surprise with ur achievement. Are u for real? Come on now...it's such ludicrous for u to not wanting to acknowledge it. Terima seadanya sudah.

Relating to my previous post...I actually failed in putting off the flame. Not long after I published the entry...I burst out. But I didn't regret the thing I said & did. I could still think straight at that time...my mind is working as well; evaluating words prior uttering.

Still am proud with myself because I didn't swear nor curse. Not a single line. Ok tipu...except 1 word. No one heard it but myself. I said CILAKE on my way to the car. Terkejut sebab aku ndak marah tahap gaban. And yes, boleh pula masa tu aku macam menyesal for not letting my angeriness out. I'm glad I didn't.

Speak up apa saja dalam hati ketika marah...harus akan telan penyesalan lepas tu. And I have long struggle to avoid myself from swallowing regret. I don't wish to be the old me anymore for I loathe the stonyhearted me.

Meeting up with the ladies later in the evening has totally put me back to track. Kombawa sisters. We sure crack loads of jokes last night because I came back home feeling afresh. It's like the wrathful mood vaporized. Untraceable.

I heart u ladies for keeping me sane. For telling me the truth although they hurts. They never hesitated to say it right to my face when I did or said something ill. And for that, I thank u.

But most of all saya rasa ok sebab last night kita lepak di Yoyo. NOT! But undoubtedly,

that cafe always bring positive vibe to my soul.

Sayang diri anda baru dapat sayang orang keliling anda.

Thanks Oppa & Sisters

Immensely proud of myself. I managed to calm myself down. Also succeeded in turning off the wrathful mood. Alhamdulillah.

Kombawa Oppa JH...upon watching u on the screen, I feel kind of soothe. It's like u have unravelled my snarling mind. Wah gitu...drama bermula.

Oppa conveying his message during one of the 'vacation' of his army days. He said take care; many times.

Big sister visited me at the cafe this afternoon. Her presence somehow help me to cool down as well. Kombawa kakak besar. Next time datang pakai tshirt & long pants...boleh tulung saya tuang sup soto kio.

To Grunge & Mel...thanks for lending ur eyes. Sebab baca sms bongos saya kan.

I'm good now. Kencana.

Longanimity

Being early to work is something I miss doing. It's been 2 months since I ran my heavy as* around coordinating the catering order(s). And today, that routine commences back again.

Took my shower after SuPra. Was all ready in less than 20 minutes. Drove off to Pasar Besar...beli kuih buih muih for catering. Arrived cafe around 7-ish.

But bringing along a soon to burst chest filled with flame.

Hoping I will be able to cool down the anger.

Sabar separuh iman cik Err. Dugaan Khamis pula ni. Malam nanti baca Y untuk tenangkan hati ya. Cheer up!

Kim Jeong Hoon...

Never had I expected...this gorgeous goodlooking brilliant guy will make me go ga-ga. Although I've watched Princess Hour's drama twice before; the butterflies I have in the stomach right now is totally unexplainable.

I just can't put things in words right now. Let alone think straight.

He has joined the military service in 2009 & he'll be out from the camp in 2011. . SO CAN'T WAIT to see him off to serve his country. I've forced mother to go to Korea & pinang him for me.

Gila proud wei bakal husband former famous actor berkorban untuk negara sendiri. Harus aku menari & geletis sendiri² nampak dia on screen. Pengubat rindu duka nan lara gitu.

His smile melt my heart. His soft voice make me fall for him over & over again. Tu belum campur bila dengar dia nyanyi. Yes, he is a singer. He was also a senior student in Chung-An University majoring in acting.

Kenapakah ada orang se-perfect ini di negara nun jauh itu?

Bad mood disappeared straight away upon seeing his face. How I wish I could sit next to him...biarlah ndak bercakap langsung sebab confirm lah few line jak aku faham apa dia cakap.

I wonder if someone like him exists in Malaysia. ugh sakit hati jiwa raga betul bila ingat pasal dia. Feel like I was being punched at the chest...sesak gilak!

A good actor...an awesome singer. Romantic understanding loving man of mine.

Those dreamy cheeky eyes...mau kasi gugur jantung aku.

Oppa John Hoon...aku rela lepaskan yang lain INCLUDING EDWARD & STEFAN asal dapat dengar ko bernafas. Tu pun sudah cukup, ara?

Say what u like...I won't be listening any of them anyway.

Bermimpi itu tidak salah asalkan tidak sampai leka.

Syukran

Setelah sekian lama bermain tarik tali dengan perasaan sendiri...akhirnya aku nekad.

Keputusan sudah pun ku ambil.

Tiada penyesalan di kemudian akhir...itu doa ku setiap masa.

Dada kini rasa ringan. Tiada lagi kekalutan yang buatkan ia sesak. Walau degupan jantung makin hari makin tidak ku tahu rentaknya. Persetan itu semua. Cukup aku tahu, bahagia yang ku rasa ini sudah melukis senyuman di wajah.

Diri dibiar jadi bodoh...dibiar jadi bahan ketawa...dibiar kelihatan seperti yang tidak punya harga diri mahupun malu. Noktah sudah ku letakkan di tiap satunya. Biar semua berakhir kini. Aku lega...aku redha. Syukur kerana Dia selalu ada tunjukkan aku cahaya yang benar.

Ku temui kebahagiaan di dalam perpisahan ini. Mengapa masa begitu lama harus ku ambil untuk mencorak kesudahan ini? Kalau ku tahu begini rasanya...pasti sudah lama aku belayar pergi. Tinggal semua yang pahit & manis...kerana walau sekulamit habuk pun tidak mahu aku ingati. Bukan dendam yang menjadi punca...tapi perasaan yang mahu semua kebodohan itu berhenti.

Sampai bila mahu tertanya...mahu ambil tahu...mahu merasa sakit hati...

Tiada yang dapat menghentikan itu semua kecuali aku memutuskan. Dan Dia membenarkan. Dan saat ini, aku sudah bebas dari cengkaman perasaan sendiri. Alhamdulillah ya Allah.

Sedang dengar lagu Shahir; Kebahagiaan dalam Perpisahan. Sangat tepat.

Of jiwa kacau

Lesson learned on how the traffic congestion actually works. Sepanjang pengalaman mendrive ulang alik tempat kerja. That is; IF I managed to escaped the one at Mini Putrajaya, I will definitely caught myself at the Damai-Bundusan road. And vice versa. This thing happened both in the morning & evening. Pusing mana pun aku akan TETAP sangkut dalam traffic; twice a day. Jadi terima jak lah seadanya.

But I prefer to not call it traffic jammed though. At least what occurred here in KK isn't as bad as in Kolumpur. For me, sini bukan jammed but more to slow traffic movement. It still move albeit slow. Aku pernah stuck on a traffic congestion from Cheras to Midvalley for nearly 2 hours. In which dekat 1 hour aku adalah langsung ndak bergerak. Padahal, 10 minit jak boleh sampai kalau jalan clear.

Kens is still at the service center. She'll be out on Thurs. Too many blockage in her system therefore the mechanic needs to unblock them before installing the compressor. Macam biasa kalau yang AT sudah beraircond, harus yang MT akan dipass sama aku. I've been driving the MT Kancil since yesterday. Sikit patah kaki on off tekan clutch. Bila lah c Jintu akan keluar ni. Kesabaran di situ cik Err.

All of a sudden...hati jadi berat upon reaching home this evening. I don't know the reasons lie beneath this melodramatic feeling. Can't blame on the hormone anymore. Moody & head aches...tambah lagi off tune heartbeat. Lengkap deh penderitaan jiwa gue.

I feel like wanting to kick, slap & scream at this very moment. Luckily masih waras. Unstable mind is still under control. Anger masih manageable. Sampai kapan baru berakhir rasa ini? Dada macam mau pecah sudah. I have yet to find the source for this peculiar feeling. Need to list down everything; identify the potential 'candidate(s)' & solve them. Bisa² gue jadi kurang siuman kalau ini jadi panjang.

Alangkah ramai orang yang sudah putus asa namun kemudian datang kegembiraan

dan alangkah ramai orang yang ketakutan menjadi menakutkan & orang yang miskin menjadi kaya, banyak peristiwa pahit berubah manis.

Jika Allah memudahkan perkara maka mudahlah ia

kekuatannya akan meleleh & kerumitannya akan binasa.

Ya Allah...tabahkan hati hamba Mu ini.

Wey-yo?

Someone hypnotized & put me to sleep so early last night. Obviously that was the cause I drove out from my original plan...that is to crash Laura's house. Woke up at 1am & the diarrhea has subsided. Oleh kerana lapar, aku ke dapur masak maggi. Lepas makan, without rehat terus jak aku sambung tidur. So much of being in a diet, huh. I didn't watched the WC final match even though I was awaken by mother's high pitch voice; screaming goal. Congrats Spain on the triumph.

Kalau join meninguk, ada karang yang jadi panda di cafe. Unlike mother yang awal² applied for leave on Monday. Yes, beliau bercuti hari ini. Guess what is she doing at home right now?

Well...she's having her own sweet Princess Hour's moment! She text me just now telling me that she's currently watching the 5^th disc. Wonder where I inherit the "gila wayang" gene?

By the way, I finally settled my craving over Yoyo's croissant yesterday's evening although the stomach still in pain. Alhamdulillah.

Little Cafe fell down from the kitchen's window. Hati adalah gila sakit dengar bunyi dia landed on the floor. Macam mau pecah jantung! Luckily he survived. Minor injuries at the chin & his left front limb though. It really breaks my heart seeing him walk in jerk. This is the main reason on why I refused to have pet(s)...kepala bisa pusing if anything bad happen to them. Jantung pun macam mau pecah berderai. Jiwa parah. Lagi sakit dari hilang sang arjuna, ara?

Oh...cafe is back to normal. NO, I wasn't talking about the kid anymore. I mean cafe; the place I work at. Student sudah ramai yang datang makan as most of the lectures started today. Alhamdulillah...I'll be bored no more. Been sweating myself non stop since morning. Moment I like...to not aware of the time that passed me by. Although belum totally busy like before. Catering orders keep coming as well. Memang bikin fening tapi tu lah namanya kerja kan.

Adalah ndak best kalau dapat gaji hasil titik peluh goyang kaki di tempat kerja. Canang seantero dunia kau kerja dalam pejabat nan beraircond tapi nan ado kerja yang dibuat...bikin haru diri sendiri. People wouldn't know but sure as h*ll dalam diri tau. Itu yang sakit. Showing proud faces to the people around u primarily to gain self-respect. Ugh haru biru hidup. Mau hidup bermuka dua...tapi muka plastik salah mekap. Hideous & horrifying. Ya Allah, minta jauhkan aku dari sifat terkutuk itu.

Tidak ada orang yang paling menderita dari orang yang tumbuh TIDAK menjadi dirinya sendiri, tumbuh TIDAK menjadi jasadnya sendiri & TIDAK menjadi fikirannya sendiri. ~Angelo Baretto~