Reminiscing 2011

Too much loveS spread in this year! And yeah, same goes with dramaS. Because as per my sisters; me without dramas is like life live without soul. Erk, confuse enough? Ignore!

2011 has been tremendously awesome to me. It does treat me well & fair! And I gladly confessed that I did let myself caught in a love game TWICE this year. Freaky enough?! Ngek. One was way perfect to start 2011 & the other one is too wonderful to end the year. Oh definitely NOT a bummer! Another lessons gained. Upgraded myself to another level. That I am sure. I am glad I have become wiser than before. To decisions I made & also choices selected.

Above all, I thanked The Almighty for the life borrowed. For the opportunity given. And for the provisions & blessings bestowed upon me. Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah.

A year is passing soon. A brand new year is approaching. Mixed feelings I have at this very moment. 2012; ur arrival is very much anticipated. So looking forward to start the year.

Ok, here are few of the thousands of pictures taken along the year. My summary of 2011! The sweet memories obviously outweigh the bitters. I am ever grateful for the beautiful souls around me. My support system, my backbone, my sidekicks, my strength, my everything.

JANUARY 

Laura's birthday. My bestfriend, my sister, my partner in crime. 

Tia Kyla full moon. The second niece of the PPGs' clan. 

The January Babies birthday celebration.

FEBRUARY

Mother-daughter moment at Bali. Celebrated the V-Day with Bunda dearest there.

Was in Kolumpur & grabbed the chance to meet FilizMan's bundle of joy. Baby Airissa who was born on the 18 Feb.

MARCH

Manja's wedding!

Meeting the cheeky super adorable Aariz for the first time since he was born!!

March Babies birthday celebration.

APRIL

Jess' baby shower.

MAY

Kizzy's birthday & house warming kenduri.

JUNE

Off to Penang with the cousins.

 Friends from high school; our mini reunion. 

JULY

Moi's bornday with part of the PPGs & Posers.

AUGUST

Breaking of fast with family. It's family bonding session because the clan from Kolumpur went back for raya! I is like to the very core!!

SEPTEMBER

Raya at Along's. Complete cousins from Bunda's side. 

The arrival of the FIRST grandchild in the family. Elnathan Othiniel. Ummi holding little Nathan few hours after he was born.

Sister's big day! Made our journey to the highland.

OCTOBER

Meeting baby Danish for the first time. Sangat bikin geram!! Grrr!!

NOVEMBER

Another sister got married. It's Zai's turn. Triple Eleven!

DECEMBER

My other sidekicks' big day. 

Ewan Tiandun Graham was born 2 weeks earlier than the expected due date. 

To end my 2011...bestie Dayang walked down the aisle on the 24^th. But unfortunately, I can't attend the wedding. *sob*

I wish for a bless & bliss 2012. Insya Allah, with His guidance I won't walk too far from the right path. *wink*

Happy New Year everyone!!

Much Love;
eryantierdabdulkarim

Belum Masanya!

Oh yeah perkara itu sangat super sheep! Superbly sheep nothing could ever be on top of the sheep-ness!! I feel like smashing & head-banging on the wall. Sila lah tahu, hati ini bagai disiat². Sudah² dengan kisah bingai toyol itu please. I am no longer interested to join. Eliminate me, pretty please. Note: Wasn't the one 'invented' by the bestguyfriend though.

Can't think straight can't longer stay sane. At least for the time being.

Fortunately, song below managed to blow away the uncertainties. Terima kasih anda. It's very much appreciated! *hands on chest*

p/s Belum mampu memberi ruang itu walau jauh di lubuk hati ini, percaya itu sudah utuh. *ok silakan muntah darah di situ*

eryantierdabdulkarim

Tarak Hal punya!

Aku ndak kesah!

I've been bombarded with the M to the Married question ever since the second eldest cousin in the family got hitched. I literally believe people started asking because I am the eldest among the grandchildren. But worries not, question or inquiries on that case always failed to stress me out. Orang bilang macam pantulan jak.

There were times I felt a bit annoyed & irritated; itu aku akun! But to put the whole thing together in the system & forced it to digest...which eventually messed the system; turning it upside down. Hmm...unfortunately, that never occurred to me. 

Intention to get married; have someone to share my ups & downs with; have someone to guide me so I won't led astray; have someone to be my imam; and the list goes on...

itu memang ada oii. Kalau tiada terlintas, ada nanti aku dicop suka pasangan sejenis kan. But as I always say, it's not my call to answer. I don't even have the right, u see. Like one of my sister said; when it happened it's like magic. Kurniaan dari Nya. 

Jodoh itu rahsia Allah Swt..

SEKUAT mana kita setia 
SEHEBAT mana kita merancang
SELAMA mana kita menunggu
SEKERAS mana kita bersabar
SEJUJUR mana kita menerima kekasih kita

Jika ALLAH SWT tidak menulis jodoh kita bersama kekasih kita...kita tetap tidak akan bersama dengannya.

For me, bersedang² sudah. Jangan mangat sangat.

Aku pernah cakap sama Makcik² JoyahS during a funeral..."Ntah bila turn kita² ni kan kena kasi mandi begitu. Kaku lagi, ndak dapat buat apa² lagi." 

I know it ain't funny...because I ain't joking. Selalu kan diorang sibuk tanya bila aku mau kahwin. Sometimes ada statement lagi kasar. So why not once in a blue moon aku jadi superwoman cakap gitu, kan comel. Sekian.

eryantierdabdulkarim

Aku yang Trip Busy

Ada ni esei baru aku karang dalam otak on the way balik dari cafe tadi petang. Secara kasar lah kunun aku merangka ayat & perenggan. Kuat gila hati ni mau update blog.

Tapi suddenly penyakit M datang...sapaan Hello dari dia siriusblack sangat ndak dapat dicakap ndak mau ambil peduli. Pastu aku timbang² balik decision untuk update cerita dalam minda tu. Hmm too raw lah idea tu. Perlu taip then masuk draft then edit nanti bila rajin. Insya Allah hormon R akan mari.

That thing I wanted so badly to share here is somehow macam over-dramatic. Karang aku continue publish, silap haribulan timbul gosip khabar angin baru. Wow tu dia aku sudah push button Perasan Unik!

I learned from my past experienceS lah kan. Benda macam yang aku mau publish tu perlu assessment & evaluation yang bertingkat². Mainly to avoid confusion & miscommunication. 

Sometimes kalau ada sahabat tanya & minta opinion; aku suka share my point of views di sini. Generally not specifically. But most of the times, ada jak yang suka push button Syok Sendiri. Pastu berdrama kunun aku baling cili straight masuk mulut diorang. Pastu kecoh attract attention. Pastu sibuk spread khabar aku suka gebang itu ini. Pastu aku start imigren fikir apa lagi salah bahasa aku. Pastu aku pula berdrama untuk counter attack.

Sah lah kan cerita ndak habis kalau gitu? Malar tu ada continuation. 

Hence, aku perlu filter berkali². Punya lah berperenggan semata mau menghurai hujah. Buang masuk longkang sila!

Juga intended mau cerita peristiwa toyol bestguyfriend kasi kena aku. Siriusblack aku rasa mau lari terjun lombong. Malu paling dewa! Dari kelmarin bah pula di-ayam²...and it took me more than 24hours to realize. Punya bidak tahap alert aku! Boo hoo!

Nantilah...semua aku kasi pause dulu. Sebab aku rasa mau poyo & trip busy dulu. Aku busy thats's why sambil chat sambil twit sambil blogging aku sekarang. Superb! Nasib lah dialog chat ndak TERtype di twit box. Settle sudah perbicaraan lewat malam a.k.a supper chat aku sama orang tu. And now it's time to continue with my book. Helaian perlu diselak malam ni. Lama kot aku suruh that book stay idle. Parah perangai.

Hopefully hormone R will embrace myself soon-ish. Then only aku akan poyo share cerita bingai.

eryantierdabdulkarim

M is for Laziness?

Phew!

Seriously I am drowning myself in the realm of deep sheep laziness. Pay no mind to the words please. I was supposed to wake up early today; to go to the town & settle the bills. Those bills aku ndak dapat pay online. Damn the system. 

How I wish Fuchy has an auto-pilot app so I can be in town without having to manually drive her! How I wish she knows how to get to the nearest car wash & get her body bathe. I hate seeing her all dusty. So Fuchy-less! Malu ok bawa kereta ala-kaler-pompuan tapi gila berdebu melambangkan tuan empunya super ndak menjaga kebersihan. Regardless the gloomy weather in which I assumed it will be raining this evening; Fuchy needs her bathe still.

Am gonna take my brunch while waiting for Fuchy to finish her mani-padi shower. Meeting a friend who is currently in town right now. And I have invited another friend to join us. I might continue with my gifts hunting later. Meeting adalah express...we will continue with our own plan after brunch. Haven't found the perfect gift for the beloved anakbuahS. Note the plurality.

My mind can't really think when it comes to gift for the children. I just don't know what to get for them because everytime I entered a shop, I get confused. Macam semua pun ngam...semua pun cantik. What's more when I saw something Pink? Buntang terus tu mata macam mau bawa pigi kaunter, bayar & jalan. And kids nowadays adalah truly lucky. For Christmas this year, Maya Bergaya received a mini piano from her parents. A maroon-silverish tutu made with love from her Mommy a.k.a Kakak Besar. 

*pic stolen from her Aunty Wiona's fb*

And AN IPAD from her grandpa; just because she envied what her Aunty Girly has. Menangis sangat dramatik the grandpa pun melting. Boo hoo Maya!

Opsie! I think I have to get myself ready. Before more drama triggered by the laziness embrace me. 

Joyous Christmas to all my Christian friends! 

eryantierdabdulkarim

Rindu Tahap Paling Dewa!

At this very moment, I purposely place myself in the most fragile state. Trying so hard to hold myself from bursting into tears was what I've been doing since early this morning. 

Couldn't make myself available for one of my closest & best-est girlfriend's big day is definitely one of the reason for this misery feeling. I am one lousy icky girlfriend I know! She hint me sometime last year. Many thanks to fb new timeline version, I could still clearly read the post she dropped on my wall! Phew, words seriously could never be able to explain how truly sorry I am right now. I feel totally horrible! By the way, I have promise myself to attend the reception at the groom's side Mac next year. LD pun LD lah, as long as aku dapat witness her in wedding dress! 

And to sprinkle more salt to the already wounded heart...was the texts below. Sent by the little cousin in Kolumpur. As if shouting how much I miss them in my fb status yesterday wasn't enough, YES? Fuh! 

They were on their way to Penang & stopped by at Tapah R&R for brunch. The R&R we normally stop to feed our tummies whenever we're headed north. I had tears welling up upon reading it. Because this is what she usually does when we arrived the place. I will search for any vacant table & she will go straight to our favourite stall to order. The same menu I will always choose! Read: My reply!

Angah called few minutes later. Suggesting that I shall fly to Penang tonight & Pacik will bear the cost for my return tix to KK. Alas, RM550 is just too extreme a budget for me right now. But kalau ada budget pun, I would gladly opted to fly to Kuching to witness Dayang's solemnization though the cousins are so eager to have me tagging along with them. Capiz been twitting me ever since I told him about his Mom's shocking idea. Boo hoo! Spending the holiday with them always mean something to me. Duka jiwa selalu vanish whenever I gathered with them. 

I am not sad because I couldn't join them to Penang. I am all devastated for the fact that I am stuck in KK this year. In the month of December? Of all months??!! 

Kalau anda teman rapat, u should have probably know by now that I will be with the family in Kolumpur; December every freaking year. I started that tradition ever since I finished my study 4 years back. I was there this year; February & June. But sadly NOT December. I don't mind celebrating new year in KK as long as I could be there in December. And please do not ask me why because I don't have answer to that Q either. Last year I was there to attend my bff's big day; aku jadi pengepit tidak bertauliah. And I went back to KK together with the family...memanjangkan cuti hujung tahun bersama di tanah tumpah darah kami. 

I guess I gotta start forcing myself to face the reality! Move ur big lazy ass around Bie. There is so much thing to cherish out there. 

Oh yeah, I'm going for a movie date with Bunda tonight. It's been too long since our last date. Macam biasa, beliau seorang yang sibuk. And aku perasan sibuk. Sekian. 

p/s Kepada yang "balik kampung drive sendiri berjam² & sendirian" itu...sila take care. Focus on the road. And oh, sila elak diri dari become too sleepy ya. 

eryantierdabdulkarim

Tick Tock

Time is up.
Clock has stopped ticking.
Alarm has long dismissed.

I need to buy a broom
to clean all this mess.

Oh wait, broom is so yesterday
hence I am gonna opt for vacuum instead

Quick & efficient.

Less dust in the air
during the cleaning process.

I wish to be away.
To a place where I can calm
the uncertainties.

New year is approaching.
I pray for a greater start.

Resolution is no longer
of interest to me.
Because I have decided
to revamp my wishlist every now & then.

This year has been super great.
Ups & downs the roller coaster.

Pleasurable indeed. Fun. Gratified!
Alhamdulillah.

eryantierdabdulkarim

Of being drugged

3 sweet weeks of sleep deprived & a week of chocolate consumption! 

Finally I am paying the toll. Migraine attack since early this morning. Feels like the head was being daggered. Swallowed a 'drug' right after breakfast really helping in controlling the pain. It subsided later in the afternoon. Phew, shaking hand with the stubborn side of me at the moment. Congrats u!

Went out after the collection handover just now. Drove Zai to the workshop to pick up her car she sent last weekend. Melayang few hundreds but nevermind the moolah...janji kereta sudah cantik berkilat seperti baru. 

The ladies crushed the cafe in the evening after work. And boy did they surprised me. All three wearing the same hue. Maroon-ish. Aku kira itu adalah masuk istilah Fink Tuesday kan. I miss hanging out with them. We've been pretty hooked up with workloads lately hence the lack of get-together. Plus some of us sudah tukar status...jadi masa ngedate like before harus dikurang-in. No longer bujang-life; they have to be back home on time. Melayan perut suami adalah tanggungjawab ok! He is the main responsibility now, after Allah & the Prophet of course.

With Puan Zai @ Tun Teja 

The future bride; Inur & Puan Kizzy @ The Ultraman!

On another note, I crushed the big sis's place last Sun. My most effective destress moment ever! Meeting the 15days old little Ewan transformed my mood to another phase right away. Gift from heaven! How could one not love such beautiful creature. I just can't get enough holding him in my hands! Like; mau pinjam bawa balik rumah.

Gonna visit her once more. Gifts for Kakak Maya Bergaya & her little bro need to be sent before Christmas. *sigh* Looking at the pic above, make me miss him more. Tunggu Aunty Pis datang kio darling!

eryantierdabdulkarim

Roboh!

시간이 치유하자

Dinding itu akhirnya
roboh
ranap, hancur
serpihan di sana sini
habuk, debu, sisa.

Namun angin
seperti sudah tidak sudi
meniup semua pergi.

Direnung semua
mata jadi kabur
pandangan jadi kusut
mengapa perlu sesemak itu.

Mahu cari jentolak
atau lori pengangkut sampah
biar cepat bersih
biar jadi tiada.

Semua ini harus segera hilang
tiada sisa tertinggal
senang untuk bina dinding baru...

Yang lebih kuat & kukuh.

eryantierdabdulkarim

Neglecting is Better

I've purposely neglected this site for some maintenance thingy in the internal system. Mind has been badly messed up lately. I need more time to look for ways to untangle the twisted thoughts. Also to complete fixing the broken pieces. Amendment task is currently in the process. 

Apart from the whole crap of sheep-ness, life sails pretty awesome nonetheless. Breakdowns acquire no power to control my system. Haven't stop running yet because there are just too many beautiful things to cherish. I presumed they deserve my attentions more!

Fifty days before the trip & I couldn't be more excited. Exhilaration to the utmost.

And in order to put the excitement to the appropriate level, I diverted the feeling. Be joyful on behalf of dear ErnieKhairina who just got back from Andalucia (Spain). I couldn't afford a travel to that place for now but that couldn't stop me from drawing this dream that I'll be there one sweet day. Insya Allah. Words definitely don't make any justice to it's magnificent. Just like what the pictures did; as per Ernie.

The blueish hue combination of both my most favourites; the ocean & the mountain...reminded her of me. And boy did that make me flattered. Feel so touched & honoured. I just can't get enough with view like this I could die staring at it! Drama perlu.

I secretly wished that one day I would wake up to this view...together with the other half while sipping our hot coffee over breakfast; awing its tranquility. Enjoying the beauty of God's creation. Subhanallah! 

And chop, lets imagine the view when the sun sets. Ooohoi bisa gugur jantung! p/s Bie, wish begitu sila simpan dalam rumah sebab bikin muntah darah. Titik.

Anyways, the big sis introduced a new thing to me. Three very talented female singers in a group called The Pipettes. Knowing me, who is a bit outdated slow with songs & singers bla bla bla...she sure didn't expect I'll get hooked with the group. But yeah, I have to admit I made such a surprise. Their songs found the right way to get straight to my heart. And win me over & over. Love their music, thanks mucho to Laura & the husband for this!

Before I stop, please enjoyed listening to the song below. One of my favourite. Of course, it's the lyric that got me impressed most of the time. But this time its their music! That make me wanna dance! Cucuk bintang, oh yeah.

eryantierdabdulkarim

Kau Ada?

Hari ni cabut awal dari cafe. Tujuan asal untuk mensibuk join IjaLyNiki cuci mata di 1Borneo. Tapi terbantut sebab tu tiga beranak rupanya zoom terus pigi right after si Daada habis kerja. Aku harus ndak kan join sebab musabab perasan diri glamour kalau ke sana dengan 'cafe attire'...nanti bakalan jatuh saham *sila muntah* sebab super bauan asap melekat sampai liang² roma. Euw! Ok Bie, terima hakikat kau kuli di cafe ok!

Sudah lama gila aku ndak drive dalam keadaan waktu macam petang tadi. Peak hour in the evening, on weekdays! Selalu kan aku balik, malam sudah. Matahari pun ndak kenampakkan. Jalan raya super lengang aku boleh poyo drive laju² di left lane lagi. Apa barang kan di left lane minta puji sana. 

But not today lah. Aku sempat sumbat diri dalam traffic yang boleh tahan slow. Siap ada Pakcik Traffic tolong kawal. Yang toyol, dalam slow tu pun masih ada orang berlanggar di roundabout. Hai lah! And because sudah lama ndak join men-jammed-kan diri, aku lupa taktik meng-overtake! Punya buruk!

Tapi! Hadiah paling indah aku dapat cabut awal hari ini...dapat saksikan pelangi ciptaan Dia! Subhanallah! Dalam aku kusut jiwa raga, pelangi tu macam magik. Untangle segala twisting nerves dalam sistem badan aku. It's been way too long since I last enjoyed the sunset! Tahun ni baru sekali aku jejak kaki pigi pantai. Tapi belum pernah sekali aku spend time tunggu matahari jatuh! Haru! Tahun lepas aku kenyang view sunset super cantik!

Fuh sungguh aku dahaga view romantika itu. Orang yang rapat sama aku tau kegilaan aku towards sunset; also awan yang cantik menggila. They often teased me for being over dramatic about it. And Kakak Besar once said something yang sangat buat aku kembang semangkuk. "I have never seen someone being so proper in love with sunset but u". 

Aku sampai rumah tigapuluhminit before Maghrib. Bersihkan diri langsung solat. Then menuju pigi ruang belakang, bersihkan litter box anak². Angkat kain baju yang kering...yang sudah duakali aku masuk machine gara² perbuatan super bijak jiran di unit atas rumah. Serius api dalam dada marak menyala tiap kali ingat kepintaran diorang tu. Fuh! Sila jangan ingat nanti lagi pusing.

Malam ni juga episod last SuriaDiCordoba. Bakalan rindu sama si AdiPutra lah! Juga si cantik manis SariYanti. Tapi ending adalah gantung! Suka jak diorang ni mau buat aku tertanya. Ada ni kan buat conclusion sendiri. Harus syok sendiri. Aku kan suka term itu, bagai sudah melekat sebati sama diri.

Night session bersama teman terchenta sudah tergendala dua malam. Gara² kebingungan si Watsapp! Selama ndak dapat tidur malam ni, teman itulah melayan aku. Jadi absorber cerita bingai aku. So selama kami ndak berhubungan ni, aku layan diri baca buku. Oh yeah, I love reading. Sekarang ni ada few buku harus baca habis. Rugi ok kalau orang kasi buku tapi kita buat hiasan di para². Macam ndak langsung appreciate gifts orang...and macam gila membazir kalau beli ndak baca. Apa ingat buku tu untuk perhiasan Bie?

Hmm...aku pun rasa harus stop sini. Sebab serius ayat sudah merapu idea sudah ditelan sang bulan! Sekian.

eryantierdabdulkarim

Bygones...shoo away!

A good friend just broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years. And has been texting me since yesterday... incessantly blaming herself for being dumped. 

sigh! Woman! Why must be too noble to shoulder the blame? This clearly ain't a game to prove ur nobleness. After all, the charged is never ur responsibility to ante up. I just don't get it what's with being virtue? Unless u skidded too far from the right track...I think any reasons related to the break-up shall be borne by both sides. 

Like seriously. Do we really need to blame ourselves if such thing occurred? If the boyfriend decided to discontinue the relationship & told us to go the separate way...can we just accept the statement as it is. No further digging on what it really means! Just agree with it...and continue walking on the path until u found a new junction. Or better, create a new path. 

Easier said than done. I know! But hey, I am talking based on my own experience. Although I have never regretted the relationship that I ditched. Hmm; well except for one though. In which I have long put to rest. Case closed. 

Babe, different people deal with heartbreak their own way. And since u asked for my advice *clearing throat*...I guess the best way is to share the lessons I've gained along the way. U don't expect me to shout other people's experience in here, yes? 

Of my 29 years of existence in this world, I have to admit that I have always been the one who walked away from the relationship(s). Call me bitch, call me bad. Any accusations won't work once I've made up my mind to leave. I tend to follow what my heart says, yet not putting aside what my mind thinks. I usually will come to a perfect conclusion; when both heart & mind sang the same rhythm. Despite how deep my feeling is; when I said it's time to end then end it will be. 

I must say the most painful & full of drama break-up was 2 years back. Not the unforgettable relationship I put to rest; just so u know. I 'didn't know' who I was dating at that time. I never predicted the consequences I will have to endure if I did like what I always do; walking away. And heaven, it took me nearly a year to fully recover from the post break-up thingy. BUT still, planting guilty conscience in my system was never an option. In any break-ups be it the most worst, I will NEVER allow myself to be burden with the aftermaths. Regardless the fact that I ignited the flame. 

Once u 'agree' to bear the blame, that's the moment guy looks down on u! Once u lose ur confidence in the battle of love, that's the moment guy took advantage & eventually messed up with ur mind. Twisting every possible plots. 

And my dear, doing what u are currently doing won't do any good to urself. It will ONLY make things worst, if not now sooner! Give urself a dateline to embrace the griefs, sorrows, sadness, miseries bla bla bla. When the dateline came, stop them all. I am not suggesting u to suppressed ur feeling! U need to have a dateline to make sure u don't die. Not die as in death, but die as in wasting ur time while u could do much more beneficial things to urself. And life!!! 

U have got to move on despite the bitterness. Crawl if u have to but please keep moving forward. DO NOT stay at the impasse road. I know u will feel like walking on fire; bloods, wounds & bruises everywhere...but trust me, dateline will speed up ur recovery. Make urself busy; like real busy. Occupied ur life with things u thought u will never do when u're with the ex. The hardest trick; yet the most effective. Ignore the time; just appreciate the course. Swim NOT against the flow for doing so mean u are ignoring the pains. The idea here is simple; live with the pains. Learn from them. Yet never let them waned u. 

No one died because they were dumped! They died because they opted to end their lives. Suicide! Self destruction. I know u will not go that far because I am confident u will walk this through. Although we underwent slightly different situation but I want u to know I was once stuck in the black tunnel. Just like u! And honestly I never thought I would be able to walk out from it. I really thought I will die embracing the pains, the darkness & stench. But I did not. I survived! I decided to fight & torn the idea to give up. I crawled half my way. I walked though sometimes falling but never did I surrendered. 

U gotta do the same. NO, let me rephrase that. U HAVE TO! Because u are stronger than u think u are. No further arguments nor justifications on that. Allah did not give u all these bulls for nothing but to replace it with something more beautiful & worth keeping!

Allah place the things on ur shoulder for u to learn. He made u go through this to remind u every now & then, that u're just human who will be forever bound to be tested!

Now, get ready for ur departure to the Survival Land darling! Enjoyed the moments; every second of it.

eryantierdabdulkarim

Sekian, Titik!

Sedang sibuk masak bubur lambuk yang sudah berhari aku tangguh. Oh, u should have known by now Penangguh itu adalah second name si BibiErr. Sekian, titik!

Mohon maaf to u ladies for the delayed! 

Sedih bila mood masak timbul tapi barang di dapur nan ado. Ini lah akibat bila dapur hanya berasap depending sama tuan rumah punya mood. Ayam hilang rasa sebab sudah dekat sebulan duduk di fridge. Halia adalah ketuaan. Same goes to the carrot & potatoes. Haru! 

Ya, aku masak bubur lambuk suka-suki ikut versi aku. No specific ingredients whatsoever. Aku guna kaedah campak semua bahan yang aku wish ada dalam bubur. Tapi santan adalah wajib; because without it maka harus aku kasi nama bubur palsu. Get it? Yang basic aku ndak kan suka-suki buang. 

Lagu di bawah adalah baru; sangat baru. Don't u just feel weird with myself now? Out of the blue terjatuh chenta sama fresh new song(s). Ini lah penangan Abang Aaron! *mata lukis loves* Erk, kaitan wujud di situ so sila jangan  ada dispute with my statement. I have been humming the song ever since I watched Ombak Rindu last week. Super love the melody. And of course, the lyric! Tusuk jantung & kalbu. Fine, aku sudah start mode jiwang karat.

On another note, some surprising shocking news came into my hearing early this evening. Serius aku terkejut badak I nearly fall from the chair while talking on the phone. And that moment, baru aku sedar something paling penting pasal diri aku. Every SLs out there would be jumping joyously if they were asked such Q but obviously NOT me. 

Yet I acted way unexpectedly! NumbF & cold feet. I stuttered not because I was nervous but because I felt something throttling! I couldn't really explained what happened but one thing for sure, I am gonna make this stop. And close the door once more. 

sigh sigh sigh *bagus kan apply amalan si Laknat banyak kali...buat lagi Bieeee!*

This isn't something I asked for. Nor wish. sigh. Bolehkah ada butang fast forward untuk benda begitu ah. Seriously, I am bloody NOT into that kinda stuff at this very moment. That the real fact I only came to know about myself. Despite saying yadda yadda about it, I actually am NOT in the zone to give 'my hand' to anyone! Not yet. Period.

Ok, porridge done! Am gonna have my super late supper before hitting the bed.  That if I managed to doze straight away. 

And pray, those sheep-ness thingy will vanished once I woke up! Insya Allah, amin.

Will be sending some to Grunge's place tomorrow morning before heading to the cafe. And Mel in the evening. I have promised the ladies...tapi sudah berhari janji itu jadi asap. Serius hancur tu perangai! 

eryantierdabdulkarim

Monolog

Gila! Bila diri perasan sibuk begini jadinya. Sampai masa tidak sempat untuk cemburu. Masa sudah bosan dengan aku yang suka buat² sibuk! Atau masa sudah muak melihat aku yang kerapkali lekat tag 'Cik Tangguh' di dahi.

Jadi kuli ini memang rumit. Banyak cabaran. Jangan pernah berani atur itu & ini sesuka jiwa kerana belum tentu rencana gebang akan berjaya terlaksana. Kadang, yang tidak dirancang itu lagi manis. Sungguh!

Minggu ini antara paksa & rela jadi pemandu pelancong para pekerja. Kecomelan si Fuchy sudah tidak bermakna saat begini kerana gagah si Gio perlu aku tonjol sama khalayak. Ugh! Aku tidak pasrah...kerana aku telah lama redha. Ikhlas bukan ukuran bisa dibuat manusia ya. Itu hak Dia untuk hakimi.

Aku injak lantai rumah saat jam hampir berdenting sepuluhkali; bulan sudah tegak di dada langit. Sungguh aku peluk erat si Penat. Sungguh aku tidak peduli tangisan syahdu si Perut. Paling aku mahu; bersihkan diri. Setelah ditunai tanggungjawab pada Nya aku panjat katil; bersedia untuk beradu. Mahu cepat sampai alam tidur. Tidak mahu singgah alam anganan kerana di sana tenaga aku akan habis diserap. Tidur bakal jadi tidak berkualiti.

Namun, sudah duaminggu ini berlanjut. Aku susah mahu lelap walau sudah ribuan kali menguap. Jadi pemuja malam sangat parah sebab tiada siapa sudi layan. Kalau dulu boleh lepak di luar tapi sekarang keinginan itu makin pudar. Rasa macam tiada daya; tiada upaya. Penghujungnya, aku ubah diri jadi tukang golek. Ke kiri ke kan. Juga penganggu lena si anak².

Tapi benar! Indah rasa itu tidak dapat disangkal kerana di tengah malam yang dingin, aku rasa hati sangat tenang. Makin dekat sama si Pencipta. Cuma aku suka jadi bingai. Rasa damai sudah ada; aku saja yang masih setia dengan si Malas. Tidak mahu bangun dari katil.

Sangat rugi! Dosa sudah bertimbun melangit tinggi. Taubat masih jauh dari mahu. Suka perasan akan hidup lama maka beginilah jadinya. Yang Maha Mentadbir sudah beri isyarat tapi aku masih buat bodoh.

Semalam kawan datang melawat, minda & telinga aku dibasuh.

"Bie, kau ndak dapat tidur sebab Allah suruh kau rajinkan diri buat ibadah di tengah malam. Bukan counting sheeps macam kau selalu complain."

Erk, ada rasa macam kepala diduku. Ada rasa macam diri dihempas ke dinding hancur lumat. Malu bukan kepalang! Tapi serius, malu tiada makna kalau terus pilih jadi toyol. Ara, Bie??

eryantierdabdulkarim

Welcome YOU to the world!!!

Oh Dear! Too many beautiful things occurred lately I forgot to even stop & share them with u. Apa ndak, trip busy layan melankoli sendiri. Ok let us stop dragging the unwanted drama scene(s) & take a big step forward. Journey in the stinky black tunnel phase shall end right now!

Kakak Besar safely gave birth to a beautiful baby boy last Sunday. 2 weeks earlier than the due date. Baby Ewan seems to cannot wait to see the world already. And celebrate the joy of Christmas with the family. 

Maya is a happy big sister! She is so excited with the arrival of her lil bro. Can't stop telling us that she has a brother already. Too cute! Worry not darling, u are still the apple of our eyes! Always, forever. 

Happy sisters visiting Kakak Besar. Grunge; expecting to give birth sometime next year. Oh dear God, thanks for the blessings!

 Kakak Maya & her aunty Pisang. 

"If u wanna hug & kiss ur brother, u have to eat first" 

Oh yeah, that was some of my dialogue to coax Maya. Kena put some threat...kalau ndak, ada budak ni terlebih charged up. Jumping around & eventually stressing the mommy. 

 Mel's turn to hold Maya. Watching lil Ewan feeding from afar. Pok silap tu orang sana siring kan. 

Baby Ewan Tiandun Graham. 

Still adjusting to his new environment. Blinking & yawning. Mother's womb is the safest & best place I shall say. Can't get to hold the baby as yet! Kecewa. But will definitely go visit them in one of these days. Together with the PPGs & Posers.

Gara² terpengaruh chicken porridge that I fed Maya earlier; I craved for it on my way to 1Borneo. Gebang baik punya betapa terliurnya aku mahu bubur. Cuci Grunge's mind as well. And the double cheeseburger? Itu kan makanan wajib kalau singgah Mc'D jadi usah ditanya lagi ya.

Alhamdulillah, I have got my craving fix. Ndak kesenonohan! Tapi chop! Jumlah makanan itu semua diguna untuk dinner & early breakfast on Monday morning. Gigih kan aku explain. Ngek~~

My brunch, because I didn't take my breakfast prior leaving home to visit Laura. Hence explain the massive meal! Also the pale face; laper dewa ok!!

LAST BUT NEVER THE LEAST, BIG HEART CONGRATS TO THE GRAHAMS-ANDREWS. 

eryantierdabdulkarim

....

Ntah kenapa tiba² rasa mahu menulis. Tapi sangat pathetic bila diri tidak tahu apa butiran yang perlu diluah. Terlalu banyak yang disimpan; dibiar diam di dalam hati. Bagi peluang untuk bernafas...untuk rasa selesa. Ada ketika aku pilih untuk kongsi bersama si Tulang-s Belakang, tapi most of the time aku lebih suka santai dengan hati sendiri. Monolog dengan si Akal & Hati yang dikurnia oleh Nya. 

Saat ini, aku tahu ada sesuatu melintas dalam minda. Dan telah putuskan untuk singgah sebentar, berehat dalam hati.

*phew* Mahu ku usir semua ini, halau biar cepat bersih. Jangan kau buat sarang di situ. Tapi semakin kuat aku suruh pergi, makin kuat membentak. Mahu stay longer; biar aku peroleh new lesson dalam kehidupan. Itukah motif? Atau ada agenda lain? Jangan terlalu senang mahu berlenang di situ, kerana bila tiba masa kau perlu pergi. 

Kalau bisa ini ku padam satu persatu...mungkin saja pening & bingung ini senang diusir. Malah rela pergi tanpa disuruh. Kenapa semua ini cepat ada. Aku tidak pernah rancang. Aku tidak pernah mahu ini ada. Aku tidak pernah tahu kenapa perlu ada. Kenapa perlu timbul. Sungguh terbukti kan? Aku sudah jadi sangat tidak cool. 

"Topeng" itu aku pakai ada tujuan. Jadi aku tidak perlu alat warna yang lain bagi menutup cela. Bila aku pilih berdiam diri...semua akan jadi putih langsung tiada palitan. Dan mustahil untuk diteka apa ada di sebalik topeng. Mungkin saja tekaan dia; kamu; kau atau mereka betul...tapi hakikat, sedikit tidak akan ada klu yang tersedia. 

Kerana bila aku pilih mengunci jiwa...semua di dalam akan ditutup rapat. Tiada akan ada yang dibenar tunjuk diri. Dilarang sama sekali. 

eryantierdabdulkarim

She is Married!

Oh my, it took me way too long than I expected to bloody have this entry published! I was acting as I am the busiest lady; hence the procrastination. Dang!

Truth to be told, there are just too many pictures of me & Kizzy. Was being super selective on which & what pictures to choose. Ended up, gambar nan ado jak diupload. Janji mission accomplished sudah. 

Kizzy is officially a wife now. I can't be grateful enough to what Allah has planned for her. All the sad episodes eventually ended with a happy ending. Insya Allah, amin. 

Mari proceed to pictures. But bare in mind, they are disorganized. Lompat ke sana lompat ke sini tu tahun. 

1999. Sekolah Sains Selangor. How innocence those faces were back then. Yeah, Kizzy & I memang selalu menang kategori Hantu Kamera since forever.

 Iftar with the YS clan sometimes in Sept, 2009. Tanjung Aru.

Continue our makan session at Grace Point. Tembolok!

Dec, 2009. 1Borneo. Went out dinner. Singgah the book fair; searching for a novel but ended up posing. So us!

Feb, 2010. Secret Recipe. One of the many dinner-date(s) we had.

10 Apr 2010. Tanjung Aru 2^nd Beach.
Note: Lelaki berbaju putih di belakang, itulah sang Pria si Kizzy! 

I was there with Mother & my little cousins, when suddenly I heard a giggle that is so very familiar to my hearing! And to my surprise, it was Kizzy. With this shy-man...yang sekarang sudah sah jadi her husband. So yeah, among the ladies I was the first one to meet him. Seksa tahan hati dari update the others. I was entrusted to not upload his pic. Aku menurut perintah! Alhamdulillah after a year, they are officially married! Kalau sudah jodoh...ndak kan ke mana.

Somewhere in Putrajaya. Yours Truly with the 2 lovelies cousins. Kizzy was one hour late to attend her course...masih boleh senyum getek kan.

Luncheon date at Kenny Rogers, Alamanda. 

Aku adalah ndak sihat, so sila ignore muka senyum palsu. Fine, aku bukan highlight dalam entri ini!

Collage KzArtz. Curi-ed this from her mukabuku album.

Kizzy was in Kolumpur(2009) to attend a course for 2 days. I was there for some amendment thingy *kes itu buang tepi*. Harus ambil kesempatan to spend time with our beautiful darling; Ernie. Lambat attend course masih boleh posing sakan! Maintain cun walau berlari dengan heels...plus kena perli baek punya oleh Pak Guard!

2008. Somewhere in KK town. 

After years of being apart from each other, this was one of the meet-up I cherished THE MOST. We had lunch at Secret Recipe & later the ladies forced me to watch Duyung! Sangat seksa!! But above all, it was indeed one helluva day for us!

As far as I remembered, the last time we meet up was in 1999. Right after SPM. And I didn't hear from her ever since then. Thanks to technology, Ernie 'found' me in my friendster* blog in 2006. That was when I re-connected with Kizzy. 

I went back to KK for good in 2007 after completing my degree...our first date was at CB, Karamunsing. Light dinner was on her. We did quite an update session at that time...and the rest is history. We stayed close like before. Regardless the workloads, we make sure to keep connected. Through texts, phone calls & yeah, blog! 

Praise be to Allah the Almighty...this friendship remains intact despite the silence years we have had. 16 years has it been; and I can feel it's getting stronger each day. Thank You Allah for bestowing this beautiful soul into my life! Syukran, syukran.

I am ever grateful to have u in my life, dear Kizzy! Wish u all the best in marriage life. Moga redha Allah sentiasa bersama kamu! 

p/s Beb, aku ndak mau ikut emo tu sebab aku takut luntur maskara & eyeliner. And terpaksa kasi keluar lens lagi. Sebak sikit² jak supaya maintain macho macam aku cakap before. Biarlah mata ko jak merah, aku cukup bergenang. Tapi credit ok, aku pakai oren-j on ur big day. Ngek! 

eryantierdabdulkarim