Punya malu

Semalam before sailing to dreamland...aku ada acara curhat with my soulmate. We talked & talked all night. I guess it was more to evaluation & assessment. Topic was mainly of the incident that recently happened to me.

*ducking my face into the mud*

Soulmate criticized my extremely childish & obviously ungrateful being. Venting out my anger at the lady who managed to run away after hitting my car...shall be done as it ought to be. Marah tanpa sempadan regardless no curse nor swear words involved; proved I still can't accept His qada' & qadar.

Dari sibuk sesakkan otak fikir benda yang sudah jadi; baik buat benda yang bawa manfaat. Yang boleh bagi 'buah manis' untuk bekalan nanti. Ini, mencanang sana sini as if it's the end of the world. Siap asah idea baik punya untuk revenge. Harus si Laknat menari gumbira time aku lupa diri; lupa keadaan; lupa alam sekeliling tu. Macamlah kesan calar & geseran tu boleh bunuh kau. Dusyum. Malu sama soulmate. Alhamdulillah dia ambil masa untuk menimbang baik buruk keadaan & the consequences of each action I will take.

Meeting a close friend for lunch yesterday awakened me as well. Words she uttered stroke me like lightning. Her advices enlightened my soul. And from that moment, I can't stop but to ask myself why do I have to act like a total jerk about the hit & run. sigh I am glad she hammered me right on time.

It is ok for me to feel disappointed & somehow depress. But it shouldn't be dragged for days. A'ah...that is so not right! I shall not by any means; prolong the situation. Making it worst bit by bit. Inviting people close to me to share the negative aura I was embracing. Or was it more to forcing & influencing them?

I am reminding myself every second now; especially when the thought of wanting to flare the Rush Lady invade the peaceful mind. "Terima apa yang jadi dengan rela". And there is no such thing as retaliate or revenge; erase the desire to do so & I will walk my life pink-ly.

Sebaik² Pemberi Pengajaran hanya Dia. Aku tidak punya hak itu...kerana hak itu milik Dia.

p/s Drama is what I do best. But this time, I had take it farthest enough to make me forgot that every little thing happened is always a blessing in disguise. That is His promise I shall never let slip out of my mind again.

x0x0

hugs*kisses

I will haunt u!!!

Last night...I spent my whole night watching Kangen for the 2^nd time. Still cry my eyes out just like when I watched it for the 1^st time. Proceeded to Cinta Pertama right after I finished the first movie. Another film that nearly ejected my eyeballs off the socket. Do they really need to be that good? Jiwa menahan sedu sedan. Sobbed like I just loss someone dearly. *knock on wood*

I was at UMS Security office this morning. Lodging a report regarding the hit & run incident yesterday. But alas, nothing could be done apart from taking report & informing their patrol unit to track down the vehicle. Plate number wasn't registered for the university's sticker hence there's no record of the car nor the owner existed.

But being headstrong that I am, I didn't give up as yet. I asked for a friend's favour to track the owner's name. Or better; phone number & address using the only source I have. Bingo! Got the name & the address. Called a friend working in this uni & found out the owner is not a student of this uni. So I assumed the lady who drove the car might be the sister. I dig & dig...and finally I got the owner's office number. Better than nothing. I called & turned out the father is the boss. Owner is in Australia at the moment as per the father told me lah.

Princess: Siapa bawa itu kereta kelmarin?

Mr T: Tidak tahu. Itu kereta duduk diam² sana rumah. Mana ada jalan.

Princess: Oh ya ka? Ada 3 orang nampak dia langgar. Saya mahu settle luar...tapi kalau susah sangat mau cakap, saya report polis saja terus ini macam.

Mr T: Oh ada orang nampak ka? Saya pun tidak tahu siapa bawa sebab tiada anak sekolah atau kerja di UMS.

Princess: Tidak apa lah...mungkin itu kereta berjalan sendiri pigi sini lah kan?

Mr T: Tidak apa miss, nanti saya cek tanya siapa bawa. Will get back to u later.

Just for the record...that bloody Silver car's driver is a regular customer at the cafe. One of my worker even remember her face. Not to forget my uncle & I...we both recognized the car. Siapa ndak tinguk kan kalau student drive Rush. Harus ada wow di sana walau tahu itu kereta Fa&Mo. I am certain enough if I saw her *Insya Allah akan*...I will definitely know if she's a regular or not. Boleh pula bapa dia komplot menipu.

I don't really pay my mind to the damages...but I am looking for some honesty & sense of responsibility here. How can u hit someone's car & drove away just like that? Admitting ur mistake won't harm u. Let alone kill u. Please dong, tanam sifat berani kerana benar. Wise people will go out of the car & at least leave a note IF s/he can't find the owner of the car they just hit...but what she did has finally toughen my theory about uni students nowadays.

Ya Rafiq Ya Muiz, aku mohon kemuliaanMu agar segala urusan sempurna dengan redhaMu.

p/s Siapa yang telah bantuin gue dalam quest tadi...makaseh ya. Sayang korang.

x0x0

hugs*kisses

Again...sigh!

Had a good sleep last night. Woke up early...feeling oh so fresh. Traffic movement wasn't as bad as yesterday. And I arrived cafe early. Everything went well in the morning. Pink Tuesday.

Came afternoon...my calmness erupted. Invasion by something I don't quite favour. I hate seeing myself venting out my anger. Because horrific is what I look like when I wasn't in the balance zone. Seriously, when the beast in me decided to flaunt itself...it isn't something I am proud of. I dislike the spleenful me. Although I have managed to control the word to blow up...I know I still have a long long long way to go to deal with my anger. Honestly, I tried my best to not fell into a rage.

Therefore, whenever I feel like not in the mood I prefer to be alone. Treat the lunacy with anything that doesn't involve human being. I rather be alone & left unattended when anger sweep me up. Just for my personal record...this month alone, I have outburst twice. At this age I should have full control of it already. But judging from what have happened recently...I guess the big letter L shall now be printed on my forehead. I failed for the zillionth time. Boo hoo.

I think what occurred during lunch ignited the flame. Hence the constant desire of wanting to give vent. Oh yeah, excuses! Darling Fuchy was hit & the culprit left the scene without having any guilty conscience to go out from the car & see what damage was done. Fortunately, no severe dents. Only a few scratches at the left front lamp & defect at it's bonnet. Yet still...that ached my heart! My property! Which I pay every freaking month with 'tears, blood & sweat' a.k.a my bloody salary. 3 witnesses are more than enough to ask the culprit LADY to pay for the damages she caused. I am so gonna haunt her down. Got her plate number; thank goodness. And fact that she's quite a regular customer at the cafe ease me even more. Jangan jak dia ndak ngaku...memang aku garit terus tu RUSH SILVER dia.

Poor Darling...she got scarred in less than a year. Let be lah...thing happened for a reason. From now on, I will park her at a more proper space. Biarlah kena jalan jauh; boleh get rid of the excess fats. Exercising the body early in the morning is a great way in reducing the protruding tummy. Oh yeah, positive thinking harus!

Alhamdulillah all stress loose down soon after I reached home. Looking at the children put me back to reality & make me realize life sucks at times. The happy-O-meter won't always strike the maximum level of happiness. It has to go down once in a while...only to make us appreciate life more. And that for us to always remember life is not a rose bed. Hey, even rose has thorns.

Trillionth thanks to whom it may concern(s) for lending me ur ears. Regardless how insanely absurd I could be when I'm not in the zone; u never left me alone in the mess. Thanks for 'walking' with me.

x0x0

hugs*kisses

yawn yawn yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn

Exhausted to the core. TIPU. Sila tahu itu hanya excuse semata. Am currently in the midst of embracing the mood to watch I-movies. Complete downloading the 2 films below just now. Finally, different set of entertainment apart from couching my ass & sticking my eyes on the black tube. Watching drama series at Fox & AXN channel.

But not tonight. I am so gonna take this opportunity to enhance my Indon slang. Gue suka!

From Bandung with Love (2008)

Hero adalah superb handsome. Saliva dropping sebab harus drama lebey.

"Kalau nggak mau digituin orang...jangan gituin orang"

Kangen (2007)

Skrip menusuk jantung kalbu. Watched part of the movie in youtube. And boy, I was hooked. Hence the decision to get & store it in my HD.

"Di saat kita ngerasa sepi, bintang selalu ada buat kita. Walau siang, ia tetap ada tapi di belahan dunia yang lain. Kerna yang nggak kelihatan, bukan bererti nggak ada"

Alkisah, contents HD semua sudah ke laut hangus sebab crash tu ari. Itu yang beria semangat waja download as many movies as possible. Kdramas & Jdramas nggak ada problemo since cousin; Ezza got them copied into her HD last Dec. Yay, ndak lah kerisauan ndak menentu.

Ok masa untuk buat hot chocolate...perlu ada sebagai teman time tinguk 'wayang' nanti. Will get back to this site later.

x0x0

hugs*kisses

Looooving it

Syukran Allah for the great weekend u bestowed upon me. I couldn't asked for more from You. Alhamdulillah.

Mother spent overnight at home...after 2 weeks of 'ignoring' me & the children. Gue dipinggirkan gara² kedai makan. Uhuk.

I haven't seen this face at home for 2 weeks already...glad she decided to come back last night. Uwek rindu.

We had dinner at Homes Cafe & Restaurant, 1 Borneo. Food was ok, same goes to the service. Price-wise too. But I think the management should do some improvement to their food presentation & spruce up their interior . I like the ambience & their deco...yet some betterment is still needed in order to maintain the business.

Prior to dinner, we went to the Parkson Extreme Sale. And boy!! I spent nearly a hundred RM for lingeries alone!!! Read: Plural! Soo much of items on sale, huh. I felt no different at all...sale or no sale; hundred is just too much. Tapi tongol, still proceed to the counter & pay. *dusyum*

No matter what, I love my Sun night to bits. It's been weeks since we last spent time together.

I left home pretty early this morning...drove all the way to KKIA only to meet Ernie & the cheeky Aariz. Ernie & her lil family went back to KK last Weds. Due to workloads & time constraint, I only got to meet them today. Why the airport? Because they'll be leaving for Kolumpur today. The airport is the only perfect place to meet up for now. After so many cancelled meetings & broken promises made by yours truly...I finally get to cuddled him. Salam peluk laga pipi with Ernie & her lil sister; Khairieah juga. It's been a while...eons back.

Oh yeah, exaggerating perlu.

Ernie's lil man.

I think Aariz likes to be surrounded by girls. Erk, girls?

Kakak Err got something for him. A teething toy. The duck has pout just like Aariz.

How can we NOT love him? Look at his cheeky smile. Aariz is a good boy...giggling all the time. And he 'wandered' his eyes at the airport's roof almost all the time...just as curious as her mommy. Mesti dia imagine; apalah tempat yang gedabak besar sangat ni.

Perhaps he is asking himself. Siapalah yang dukung aku ni...tak pernah ku lihat wajahnya.

Mata start kuyu...bukti kukuh Aariz penat & need to rest. Recharge! Nanti on board ada banyak energy & boleh borak sama mommy.

With Khairieah @ Gadik before they made their walk down to the departure hall.

And this evening, I'll be at Jesselton Point with the PPGs. Jessica's burpday it is today & we're going to celebrate her day. Wah March sangat best; ramai orang naik umur. More makan session and more calories consumed; congrats!.

p/s Ernie, I won't forget when I asked u why Aariz is so sweet-smelling...and as spontaneous as I've always known u are, u replied "Because children are sent from heaven", ever. I was indeed kinda surprise with ur answer but couldn't help but to agree with u. And no, itu bukan jawapan mama².

Much love for u & the lil man.

x0x0

hugs*kisses