Rindu Tahap Paling Dewa!

At this very moment, I purposely place myself in the most fragile state. Trying so hard to hold myself from bursting into tears was what I've been doing since early this morning. 

Couldn't make myself available for one of my closest & best-est girlfriend's big day is definitely one of the reason for this misery feeling. I am one lousy icky girlfriend I know! She hint me sometime last year. Many thanks to fb new timeline version, I could still clearly read the post she dropped on my wall! Phew, words seriously could never be able to explain how truly sorry I am right now. I feel totally horrible! By the way, I have promise myself to attend the reception at the groom's side Mac next year. LD pun LD lah, as long as aku dapat witness her in wedding dress! 

And to sprinkle more salt to the already wounded heart...was the texts below. Sent by the little cousin in Kolumpur. As if shouting how much I miss them in my fb status yesterday wasn't enough, YES? Fuh! 

They were on their way to Penang & stopped by at Tapah R&R for brunch. The R&R we normally stop to feed our tummies whenever we're headed north. I had tears welling up upon reading it. Because this is what she usually does when we arrived the place. I will search for any vacant table & she will go straight to our favourite stall to order. The same menu I will always choose! Read: My reply!

Angah called few minutes later. Suggesting that I shall fly to Penang tonight & Pacik will bear the cost for my return tix to KK. Alas, RM550 is just too extreme a budget for me right now. But kalau ada budget pun, I would gladly opted to fly to Kuching to witness Dayang's solemnization though the cousins are so eager to have me tagging along with them. Capiz been twitting me ever since I told him about his Mom's shocking idea. Boo hoo! Spending the holiday with them always mean something to me. Duka jiwa selalu vanish whenever I gathered with them. 

I am not sad because I couldn't join them to Penang. I am all devastated for the fact that I am stuck in KK this year. In the month of December? Of all months??!! 

Kalau anda teman rapat, u should have probably know by now that I will be with the family in Kolumpur; December every freaking year. I started that tradition ever since I finished my study 4 years back. I was there this year; February & June. But sadly NOT December. I don't mind celebrating new year in KK as long as I could be there in December. And please do not ask me why because I don't have answer to that Q either. Last year I was there to attend my bff's big day; aku jadi pengepit tidak bertauliah. And I went back to KK together with the family...memanjangkan cuti hujung tahun bersama di tanah tumpah darah kami. 

I guess I gotta start forcing myself to face the reality! Move ur big lazy ass around Bie. There is so much thing to cherish out there. 

Oh yeah, I'm going for a movie date with Bunda tonight. It's been too long since our last date. Macam biasa, beliau seorang yang sibuk. And aku perasan sibuk. Sekian. 

p/s Kepada yang "balik kampung drive sendiri berjam² & sendirian" itu...sila take care. Focus on the road. And oh, sila elak diri dari become too sleepy ya. 

eryantierdabdulkarim