Bygones...shoo away!

A good friend just broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years. And has been texting me since yesterday... incessantly blaming herself for being dumped. 

sigh! Woman! Why must be too noble to shoulder the blame? This clearly ain't a game to prove ur nobleness. After all, the charged is never ur responsibility to ante up. I just don't get it what's with being virtue? Unless u skidded too far from the right track...I think any reasons related to the break-up shall be borne by both sides. 

Like seriously. Do we really need to blame ourselves if such thing occurred? If the boyfriend decided to discontinue the relationship & told us to go the separate way...can we just accept the statement as it is. No further digging on what it really means! Just agree with it...and continue walking on the path until u found a new junction. Or better, create a new path. 

Easier said than done. I know! But hey, I am talking based on my own experience. Although I have never regretted the relationship that I ditched. Hmm; well except for one though. In which I have long put to rest. Case closed. 

Babe, different people deal with heartbreak their own way. And since u asked for my advice *clearing throat*...I guess the best way is to share the lessons I've gained along the way. U don't expect me to shout other people's experience in here, yes? 

Of my 29 years of existence in this world, I have to admit that I have always been the one who walked away from the relationship(s). Call me bitch, call me bad. Any accusations won't work once I've made up my mind to leave. I tend to follow what my heart says, yet not putting aside what my mind thinks. I usually will come to a perfect conclusion; when both heart & mind sang the same rhythm. Despite how deep my feeling is; when I said it's time to end then end it will be. 

I must say the most painful & full of drama break-up was 2 years back. Not the unforgettable relationship I put to rest; just so u know. I 'didn't know' who I was dating at that time. I never predicted the consequences I will have to endure if I did like what I always do; walking away. And heaven, it took me nearly a year to fully recover from the post break-up thingy. BUT still, planting guilty conscience in my system was never an option. In any break-ups be it the most worst, I will NEVER allow myself to be burden with the aftermaths. Regardless the fact that I ignited the flame. 

Once u 'agree' to bear the blame, that's the moment guy looks down on u! Once u lose ur confidence in the battle of love, that's the moment guy took advantage & eventually messed up with ur mind. Twisting every possible plots. 

And my dear, doing what u are currently doing won't do any good to urself. It will ONLY make things worst, if not now sooner! Give urself a dateline to embrace the griefs, sorrows, sadness, miseries bla bla bla. When the dateline came, stop them all. I am not suggesting u to suppressed ur feeling! U need to have a dateline to make sure u don't die. Not die as in death, but die as in wasting ur time while u could do much more beneficial things to urself. And life!!! 

U have got to move on despite the bitterness. Crawl if u have to but please keep moving forward. DO NOT stay at the impasse road. I know u will feel like walking on fire; bloods, wounds & bruises everywhere...but trust me, dateline will speed up ur recovery. Make urself busy; like real busy. Occupied ur life with things u thought u will never do when u're with the ex. The hardest trick; yet the most effective. Ignore the time; just appreciate the course. Swim NOT against the flow for doing so mean u are ignoring the pains. The idea here is simple; live with the pains. Learn from them. Yet never let them waned u. 

No one died because they were dumped! They died because they opted to end their lives. Suicide! Self destruction. I know u will not go that far because I am confident u will walk this through. Although we underwent slightly different situation but I want u to know I was once stuck in the black tunnel. Just like u! And honestly I never thought I would be able to walk out from it. I really thought I will die embracing the pains, the darkness & stench. But I did not. I survived! I decided to fight & torn the idea to give up. I crawled half my way. I walked though sometimes falling but never did I surrendered. 

U gotta do the same. NO, let me rephrase that. U HAVE TO! Because u are stronger than u think u are. No further arguments nor justifications on that. Allah did not give u all these bulls for nothing but to replace it with something more beautiful & worth keeping!

Allah place the things on ur shoulder for u to learn. He made u go through this to remind u every now & then, that u're just human who will be forever bound to be tested!

Now, get ready for ur departure to the Survival Land darling! Enjoyed the moments; every second of it.

eryantierdabdulkarim