Just saying

Someone asked me few days ago about my other blog. Not the one with friend*ster. It's the previous virtual diary of mine using the same host as this blog. Stories of My Life is the name I gave it. My earliest post was in June, 2007. I decided to switch from my friend*ster blog upon the influence of a friend; Mommy ZaZa. Yeah right, I still blamed her for my sudden urge to change my blog's host.

And because that someone has brought up about the blog...I visited & went through it's pages. Unveiling some stories I have long buried in my heart. Bringing back the past to mind. It's been a while since I last posted something in that blog. Not that I purposely abandoned it, just that I wanted to avoid myself from dwelling into the past. Because every time I made a visit to that site, I ended up having too much mixed feelings. I sometimes wish certain things never happened...some people doesn't exist. And that is not a wise thing for that means I regretted what Allah has planned for me.

Each time I brought myself back to the past...I can't help but to recall the unhealthy relationship I went through. I can't help but to impress the people whom I have ditched & deliberately deleted from my life. Too much pains; too much hatrids; too much dramas; all had I forced to forget & shut down. That blog has recorded witnessed too many sorrows & gloominess in my life...and it was opened to public for more than 2 years until I decided to keep it private in 2009 due to some reasons. It is readable only to people close to me. Dear people that never judge actions I took...never questioned things I did for they know who I am.

Having said all that...I still am grateful for what I've been through before. Because without them, I wouldn't be where I stand right now. I wouldn't be strong without the hurdles that were thrown along my path of life. My life would have been dull; less colourful without all the pebbles & gravels. I greatly thanked those who came crossed my life albeit their 'absence' now.

I know one who reads this will definitely think I am an abnormal person. A woman whom enjoyed ditching friends in her life. I don't have to make any explanation to that I guess...simply because u ain't me. U didn't have the right to comment nor condemn my decision because we didn't travel together along the road. Never will we be. I have my own path & same goes to u. Therefore, read BUT please hinder urself from judging.

Anyway, that someone who was responsible to bringing up my old blog suggested I shall make it readable to public once more. *ok perasan ada orang baca lah kan* Yet I straight away disagree with his idea. What's been said in there shall remained there. I don't want to provoke issue(s) I've long put to rest. I prefer to let bygones be bygones. If I were to make it public, I might have to hide few heart-wrecking posts in order to avoid any future misunderstandings. Because that private blog is a medium for me to make my own curhat session. But I've stop scribbling in there since Oct last year. And I don't know why. Perhaps, life has been much much beautiful I don't need covert rantings any longer. I feel so much freedom to jot down my feeling in this blog now. As I've gained the power to control words I want to put down & emotions I wish to express. Alhamdulillah. Although there are people who enjoyed swallowing things I wrote mainly because they think those are for them.

I sometime plant some chillies here...that I admit. But what I dislike is when people willingly took & digest that isn't meant for them. Do I really need to make credit to words I scribbled here? Please dong, don't contaminate my garden with ur so unneeded invasion.

eryantierdabdulkarim