Punya malu

Semalam before sailing to dreamland...aku ada acara curhat with my soulmate. We talked & talked all night. I guess it was more to evaluation & assessment. Topic was mainly of the incident that recently happened to me.

*ducking my face into the mud*

Soulmate criticized my extremely childish & obviously ungrateful being. Venting out my anger at the lady who managed to run away after hitting my car...shall be done as it ought to be. Marah tanpa sempadan regardless no curse nor swear words involved; proved I still can't accept His qada' & qadar.

Dari sibuk sesakkan otak fikir benda yang sudah jadi; baik buat benda yang bawa manfaat. Yang boleh bagi 'buah manis' untuk bekalan nanti. Ini, mencanang sana sini as if it's the end of the world. Siap asah idea baik punya untuk revenge. Harus si Laknat menari gumbira time aku lupa diri; lupa keadaan; lupa alam sekeliling tu. Macamlah kesan calar & geseran tu boleh bunuh kau. Dusyum. Malu sama soulmate. Alhamdulillah dia ambil masa untuk menimbang baik buruk keadaan & the consequences of each action I will take.

Meeting a close friend for lunch yesterday awakened me as well. Words she uttered stroke me like lightning. Her advices enlightened my soul. And from that moment, I can't stop but to ask myself why do I have to act like a total jerk about the hit & run. sigh I am glad she hammered me right on time.

It is ok for me to feel disappointed & somehow depress. But it shouldn't be dragged for days. A'ah...that is so not right! I shall not by any means; prolong the situation. Making it worst bit by bit. Inviting people close to me to share the negative aura I was embracing. Or was it more to forcing & influencing them?

I am reminding myself every second now; especially when the thought of wanting to flare the Rush Lady invade the peaceful mind. "Terima apa yang jadi dengan rela". And there is no such thing as retaliate or revenge; erase the desire to do so & I will walk my life pink-ly.

Sebaik² Pemberi Pengajaran hanya Dia. Aku tidak punya hak itu...kerana hak itu milik Dia.

p/s Drama is what I do best. But this time, I had take it farthest enough to make me forgot that every little thing happened is always a blessing in disguise. That is His promise I shall never let slip out of my mind again.

x0x0

hugs*kisses