17 August 2011

Just saying

Someone asked me few days ago about my other blog. Not the one with friend*ster. It's the previous virtual diary of mine using the same host as this blog. Stories of My Life is the name I gave it. My earliest post was in June, 2007. I decided to switch from my friend*ster blog upon the influence of a friend; Mommy ZaZa. Yeah right, I still blamed her for my sudden urge to change my blog's host.


And because that someone has brought up about the blog...I visited & went through it's pages. Unveiling some stories I have long buried in my heart. Bringing back the past to mind. It's been a while since I last posted something in that blog. Not that I purposely abandoned it, just that I wanted to avoid myself from dwelling into the past. Because every time I made a visit to that site, I ended up having too much mixed feelings. I sometimes wish certain things never happened...some people doesn't exist. And that is not a wise thing for that means I regretted what Allah has planned for me.

Each time I brought myself back to the past...I can't help but to recall the unhealthy relationship I went through. I can't help but to impress the people whom I have ditched & deliberately deleted from my life. Too much pains; too much hatrids; too much dramas; all had I forced to forget & shut down. That blog has recorded witnessed too many sorrows & gloominess in my life...and it was opened to public for more than 2 years until I decided to keep it private in 2009 due to some reasons. It is readable only to people close to me. Dear people that never judge actions I took...never questioned things I did for they know who I am.

Having said all that...I still am grateful for what I've been through before. Because without them, I wouldn't be where I stand right now. I wouldn't be strong without the hurdles that were thrown along my path of life. My life would have been dull; less colourful without all the pebbles & gravels. I greatly thanked those who came crossed my life albeit their 'absence' now.

I know one who reads this will definitely think I am an abnormal person. A woman whom enjoyed ditching friends in her life. I don't have to make any explanation to that I guess...simply because u ain't me. U didn't have the right to comment nor condemn my decision because we didn't travel together along the road. Never will we be. I have my own path & same goes to u. Therefore, read BUT please hinder urself from judging.

Anyway, that someone who was responsible to bringing up my old blog suggested I shall make it readable to public once more. *ok perasan ada orang baca lah kan* Yet I straight away disagree with his idea. What's been said in there shall remained there. I don't want to provoke issue(s) I've long put to rest. I prefer to let bygones be bygones. If I were to make it public, I might have to hide few heart-wrecking posts in order to avoid any future misunderstandings. Because that private blog is a medium for me to make my own curhat session. But I've stop scribbling in there since Oct last year. And I don't know why. Perhaps, life has been much much beautiful I don't need covert rantings any longer. I feel so much freedom to jot down my feeling in this blog now. As I've gained the power to control words I want to put down & emotions I wish to express. Alhamdulillah. Although there are people who enjoyed swallowing things I wrote mainly because they think those are for them.

I sometime plant some chillies here...that I admit. But what I dislike is when people willingly took & digest that isn't meant for them. Do I really need to make credit to words I scribbled here? Please dong, don't contaminate my garden with ur so unneeded invasion.

eryantierdabdulkarim

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4 hollered!:

lydia1212 said...

what a coincidence! sama itu theme kita... sorry, bukan mau tiru tu hehe!

BibiErr Karim said...

Adei ni tondu kan. Tu theme bukan kita sija sma tu, ramai lg gna. Hihihi bukan kama tiru tu.

Mel said...

For me, yg penting lessons yg kita bjar from our past. I've had my period of ditching my so-called friends juga bah. dun worry u are not alone. hahaha. Life and it's sh**. lalalala. lol

BibiErr Karim said...

So-called friends or what we called toxic friends, right. Anything toxic is so unwanted in our life hence the ditching process needed.

I know I was never alone in this, we've been in the same ship for like forever. Hihihi. Cheers to what we did. Never regret with what we've decided.

xxmuchlovexx

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